Dawn
by R.E. Carmine
Summary: Who would've ever thought Spock would've fallen for a southern belle? (Although not many see her that way.) Dawnaka Rose Davis is a cadet who's past is haunting her while she hides behind her love of nature and cultures. Will she ever trust Spock with her secret? ***Please leave a comment.*** I don't own Star Trek AOS, just my own characters. Rated M for violence in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1: A Change of Scenery_

"Bye Momma. Goodbye Daddy" I gave them both hugs when they dropped me off at the train station before the sun came up over the Appalachians. I took one last look at my home in West Virginia. I was heading to StarFleet Academy in San Francisco. I would miss my kin and the holler where I grew up, but my parents and I reckoned it was time for me to go out on my own and get book read. I sighed, "Take care of my flowers, please?" I asked before I had to scurry off.

"Of course, honey, don't worry." my Momma, Anna, said knowing exactly what I meant when I asked that. I had a special, secret garden that only my Momma and Daddy knew about.

"I love y'all and I'll be sure to comm with you at Aunt Jeannie's and Uncle Mark's after I get settled.

"We love you too, baby girl." my Daddy, Jeff, said. "Dawn, remember to try and find a church to attend while you're there, or I'll be sending you recordings of my sermons each week."

"I'll try, Daddy." I said as I gave him and Momma one last hug and kiss goodbye.

Holding my poke with the sandwich Momma made and a bottle of water in one hand, I drug my luggage to the train with the other and had it taken to the luggage car. I gave the station master my ticket and shuffled down the aisle to an empty seat and sat. I rubbed the silver locket that hung from my neck between my thumb and index finger and prayed to God to give me boldness in this new part of my life and to give me comfort because I would miss my family dearly.

It took almost 8 hours to get out of the mountains and into California. It took another 20 minutes to get to the railway station and then half an hour by taxi to get to the Academy. I only had 10 minutes to get to the cafeteria where I would find out my dorm room assignment, key code for my room, and my class schedule for the first semester.

In a sea of 200 new students, I was the only one of my kind and from the looks I was getting, everyone else knew it too. It's not too often someone sees a green girl with red hair and pointy ears. I wanted to hide, but I couldn't until I got everything from the staff member who suddenly asked my name. "Davis, Dawnaka Rose" I answered almost too quickly.

"I'm sorry," the staff member said looking at me like I had 3 heads, "could you repeat your name please?"

I did and thanked him as he handed me my information on a data PADD. I walked back out of the door I came in from while trying to figure out how to read the map to find my way to my dorm across campus. Not really watching where I was going, I nearly walked right into someone and I quickly apologized and continued walking to my dorm that I had finally located on the map.

I was assigned to Cunningham Hall, 1st floor, room 26. Dragging my luggage into my new home-away-from-home, I saw there were two beds, lofted, with a desk, chair, and dresser under each. There was a replicator on one wall and the closet was opposite it. Being that this was a first year cadet's dorm, there was a community bathroom. I was very thankful that dorms were separated by gender. I prayed that my roommate would be non-existent, but that prayer was answered by my room door wooshing open and an Asian girl coming in with a half a dozen suitcases. "Thankfully, I don't have to worry about which bed is mine." the girl stated and then laughed.

"I'm Keri Suzuki" she introduced herself while organizing her bags.

"It's good to meet you. I'm Dawnaka Davis, but please, call me Dawn."

"A Southerner, huh? Where are you from?"

"I'm from West Virginia, close to Bluefield. But hardly anyone knows where that is." I told her while her back was still turned to me.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Dawn." she said as she turned around to extend her hand for me to shake it. Then she looked at me and saw I was Orion. What she missed were my ears that I had hidden under my long hair. I raised my hand in Ta'al.

"Whoa. Not just Orion, but Vulcan too, and Southern. Just what did Dr. McCoy think of you?"

"Who is Dr. McCoy?"

"You haven't been to medical yet? You need to go for inoculations. There are so many different people here from different places, you don't want to catch something accidentally. Do you know where it is?"

She showed me where it was on the map and pointed me in the right direction. It took all of 5 minutes to walk across campus to the medical building. After being checked in and escorted to a bed, I was told that Dr. McCoy would be with me "as soon as possible".

A man with dark brown hair and stormy blue eyes walked towards me with a PADD in his hand.

"Alright then, I'm Dr. McCoy and you need just the basic hypo-sprays and you can get going, Cadet Davis."

"It's nice to know there's another southerner around. Kindred spirits, my Momma would say."

Dr. McCoy looked up from his PADD finally and smiled warmly.

"Well, how… woah. How did I miss this in your file? Sorry, that was rude of me."

"It's alright Dr. McCoy, I get that a lot." I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"No, it's not alright. Where are you from?" he asked as he injected a hypo-spray into my neck.

"West Virginia, close to Bluefield."

"I've not heard of it."

"Not many people have."

"Well, there you go. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me."

"Thank you Dr. McCoy."

"You're welcome, now get going. Classes start early tomorrow."

Trying not to make eye contact as I made my way back to my dorm, I started thinking about home and how I was already missing my family. Part of the reason I was at the Academy was so that I could learn more about my heritage. It was hard growing up being both Orion and Vulcan. I had no idea who my real parents were, the only thing I had from them was a letter requesting that I not try to find them. During my early teens, I started developing touch telepathy and my emotions became increasingly out of control. Not knowing beforehand what they could be facing as I got older, my parents had to do some research about how to teach me to control my emotions and the emotions I felt from others. They did their best, but it just wasn't enough and I hid myself away a lot so I didn't have to worry about accidentally bumping into someone. I could feel tears starting to well up and I knew I had to get back to my dorm as soon as possible. I couldn't let anyone see me like this. Even for someone who is part Vulcan, showing emotion to anyone other than my parents was disgraceful. At least, to me, that's how it felt.

"Cedet!" a voice called out from behind me. I wasn't sure to who until I looked up and almost walked out in the middle of a busy road. The voice caught up to me and I gazed at my shoes.

"Cadet, are you well? Cadet, you will look at a superior officer when spoken to."

I looked up into a stern face with emotionless eyes and shivered. I felt like I couldn't breathe from trying to control the emotions that dared to spill over my cheeks. My eyes were misting over and I couldn't see well, but I knew if I blinked I would be done for.

"Yes, sir. I'm fine, sir." My eyes must have conveyed the pleading in my head for him to not ask anymore.

"Very well Cadet…?"

"Davis, Dawnaka. Sir."

"Very well Cadet Davis. Back to your dorm and pay attention to where you're going. We don't need any casualties before the year has even begun."

"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry Sir." I whispered as I choked down the growing lump in my throat.

"You are dismissed Cadet Davis."

At that, I turned around, looked both ways and crossed the street back to my dorm. Thank the Lord, my roommate wasn't there. I locked the door and let the tears fall. Half an hour later, my roommate still hadn't come back to the dorm. _Probably out partying before the school year starts_ , I guessed. It was still early enough back home that I comm'd my Aunt and Uncle's house.

"Hi Dawn! Mark, hun, go get Jeff and Anna!" she yelled to my Uncle who was apparently in a different part of the house. "Hang on, hun. Your folks are coming."

"Thanks Aunt Jeannie."

As soon as Momma got there, she took one look at me and knew I had a meltdown. "Oh, baby girl, tomorrow will be a better day." She knew I didn't like to talk about my overactive emotions, but it was a comfort to know that I could talk to her when I needed to.

"I'm sure it will be, Momma. Thanks." I gave her a kind of forced smile.

"What is your class schedule like?" Daddy asked trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"Oh, well, hang on. Let me pull it up real quick." I got my PADD out of my bag and opened my class schedule.

"On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have Botany 101, Intro to Starfleet (that's a class all the first years have to take), and Xenoanthropology 101. On Tuesday and Thursday, I have Intro to Vulcan, and Physical Education."

"Sounds like you've got a full course load there" Uncle Mark stated.

"Yeah, I have Intro to Starfleet at 0645 hours. I'm not looking forward it at all. I've had a long day and I still need to eat supper."

"Okay baby girl, you still have our comm schedule we agreed on?" Daddy asked. I nodded that I did. "Good."

"Hey, Daddy, could you send me your sermons each week? San Francisco is huge and I don't think I'll be able to find a church out here."

"I can do that Dawn. We all love you very much. Try to make at least one friend while you're there. We'll talk again in a month."

"I love y'all too. Bye-bye." I ended the call and decided I didn't really want to eat, so I gathered my things for a shower and made my way to the communal bathroom. There were only two other showers running when I got there. As soon as I got in, the other showers turned off consecutively and the duration of my shower was spent alone. Back in my room, I laid out my uniform for tomorrow. Red uniform and green skin. Great, I wondered how many Christmas color comments I would get tomorrow.

Six AM came way too soon. _Coffee_ I thought to myself. _I need coffee._ I got up and got ready for my first class that I just knew was going to be incredibly boring. I had just enough time to stop and grab a cup of coffee and a bagel at the cafeteria before class.

I found the building that Intro to Starfleet would be held in. The Science building, why was it in here? The classroom was on the second floor and I was, of course, the last one to walk in. I felt all eyes on me. Quickly I scanned the room and found an empty seat in the back. _If I start to doze off, hopefully the professor won't notice,_ I thought as I silently made my way to the chair.

A minute after I sat down, in walked a tall man wearing a grey professor's uniform. He had dark brown, almost black hair. Then I saw his ears. He's Vulcan. He's actually Vulcan. Something about him looked familiar, but I couldn't place it until he spoke.

"Good morning class. I am Professor Spock. This is Intro to Starfleet. In this course, you will be learning the Prime Directive as well as other codes and protocols…" _He's the one who stopped me from walking into the street yesterday._ The rest of the class was spent with Professor Spock going over the syllabus for the semester and me rubbing the silver locket that always hung around my neck.

Botany with Professor Murray and Xenoanthropology with Professor Tak went much the same way. Stares from my classmates, syllabi being reviewed, and me, nervous about being in a new place, hoping I could pass all of my classes, and praying that I could keep my emotions under control. Botany gave me a little peace when I learned that we would be exploring more efficient ways of caring for plants foreign to Earth. Part of me began to think of my secret garden back home and how much time I would be spending there over my breaks. My longing for my garden almost had me crying. I had to pull myself together quickly or I would meltdown in public.

"If you ever need to let your emotions out, you can, but make sure you're alone or with someone you absolutely trust." my Momma told me when I was thirteen.

Physical education was my first class Tuesday morning. The Professor, I don't remember his name, told us we were in charge of our own class time. We had to do some sort of physical activity but we had to log all of our hours and if we didn't meet the required hours by the end of the semester, we would fail the class. _Well that's easy_ , I thought. Running was my choice of exercise back home and running in the mountains just helped me increase my endurance level. _It's so flat around here, I hope I don't get bored._ I was glad I was in my workout clothes. I started jogging around campus, but I couldn't help but notice that almost everywhere I went, I was either stared at or people would avert their gaze. I found myself becoming annoyed and angry and that made me want to run longer than necessary.

Intro to Vulcan, also taught by Professor Spock, was after lunch. I had quite a lot of down time on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I realized, but that time would be spent doing homework and studying for exams. This was one class I was looking forward to. I had always been interested my heritage and where I'm from, we don't have access to a ton of information. I knew about Orion and Orion women and that part of my heritage just didn't appeal to me. I had been raised with more respect for myself than that. I knew a few basic things about Vulcan. I knew that it was extremely hot compared to Earth, I knew that there was a High Counsel, and I knew about the Nero Incident. Intro to Vulcan would not only teach me to read, write, and speak the language my biological father spoke, but I would also learn some of the customs, history, and geography of both Vulcan and New Vulcan.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2: Grades_

It was October now, two months into school. I had already had at least one quiz in each of my classes, well except for phys ed. October was one of the months of the year that I absolutely could not stand. My whole life, everywhere I went, and it was no different here, I was "asked" if I was going to be a witch for Halloween.

"Why do adults have to be so immature?" I complained to my mother during our scheduled comm call one evening.

"Sugar, when people are like that, it's because of one of two things. Either they are jealous or their ignorant. How are your grades so far?"

"I've got two A's, two B's, and a C." I told her. Daddy was the first to comment, I knew he would be.

"C's are average…" he began, "and you are an above average student." he and I finished in tandem.

"Daddy, you've told me that my whole life. My C is in Phys Ed. With all of my other course work, it's hard to get exercise in."

"Perhaps you talk with your academic adviser. I'm sure that there is a way to fix your daily schedule so that you can get more time for Phys Ed in."

"Momma, that's a good idea." I smiled my crooked smile at her suggestion, " I'm not sure who my academic adviser is though. I think it might be Professor Tak. I received a message saying who it was at the beginning of the year. I'll double check and let you know what happens next time we talk."

"Alright my sigogglin smiling child. We look forward to hearing about it next month. I hope you're coming home for Thanksgiving."

"I'm fixin on it. I really miss my garden." I said as my eyes started welling up and I rubbed my locket between my fingers.

"Oh, precious, I know you do. We've been taking care of her for you. She looks beautiful."

"Thank you Momma. Thanks Daddy, and thank you for sending me your sermons. I love y'all."

"You're more than welcome, Dawn." Daddy replied, "We love you too. Bye honey, we'll talk again soon."

I looked for that message for who my academic advisor was, _I'm almost sure it was Professor Tak._ I told myself while looking for the message. I found it and opened it.

 _Cadet Davis,_

 _Welcome to Starfleet Academy! During your first year, you will be studying not only core curriculum but also curriculum for your area of focus. There is tutoring available each night of the week with older Cadets. Their tutoring schedules will be posted in the class's corresponding building. Should you require a schedule change or any other assistance, contact your academic advisor, Professor Spock._

 _May you do well in your endeavors,_

 _Admiral Jones_

"Wonderful"

"What's wonderful?" my roommate said as she came through the door at the same moment.

"Hi Keri. I need some help with time management. My Momma suggested I talk with my academic advisor. I thought my advisor was Professor Tak. It turns out it's Professor Spock." I sighed.

"Oh, yeah. I see what you mean. Boy that Vulcan is, well, very Vulcan. Even though he's only half Vulcan."

"He's half Vulcan?"

"Yep! You really don't listen to the local gossip, do you?"

"I try my best to ignore it." I said a little annoyed.

" Well, I suppose that's not really gossip; it's a fact that's not talked about very much. Good luck though. From what I hear, he can be brutal."

"If that's true, I don't ever want to be on his bad side. Looks like I'm going to have to face him some time though. My parents are expecting me to fix my Phys Ed grade by next month."

"Are you going to talk to him tomorrow?"

"I reckon I should and just get it over with."

"Okay. I'm going out." she announced as stripped off her uniform and put on a black and white block pattern cocktail dress and black pumps. "Good luck with it."

"Have a good night, be safe, don't get drunk, and don't bring back any random guys again, please?"

"Yup, see ya!" she called back as she left the room and slammed the door behind her.

Two in the morning, I woke up to pounding on the door.

"Hang on! I'ma coming." I said as I slid out of bed and put my robe and slippers on. I crossed the room and opened the door to find some random Joe and my roommate nearly passed out drunk.

"Who are you and why didn't you take her to the medical building?"

"I'm Josh and I didn't take her there because I'm kinda drunk too and I didn't want to get kicked out."

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes, "I need your help to get her to medical. She can't stay here like this."

Josh and I dragged Keri to medical where we met Dr. McCoy.

"Cadet Davis, I didn't think I'd see you back here again so soon. Let's get her into a bio bed. Same with you Cadet…?"

Josh was about to answer when he vomited and passed out on the floor.

"I don't know his last name, but his first name is Josh."

"Drunks" Dr. McCoy said as he was picking Josh up off the floor, "They think that they can come here and party and nothing will happen. Who's the girl?"

"That's my roommate, Keri Suzuki. Josh brought her back to our dorm instead of coming here because they are both drunk and under age. I told her before she left not to do this. She knows that I have to turn her in because of it."

"I'm sorry you had to do this. Go back to you room and get some sleep. You've got class in the morning."

"Yeah, and I've got to talk to Professor Spock tomorrow, about helping me with time management."

"Oh, don't let that green-blooded hobgoblin scare ya." His eyes went wide then, realizing what he said and who to. "Cadet, sometimes I just don't have a filter."

"Obviously. Excuse me." I turned and ran before I punched something or someone.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3: Personal Project_

At the end of Intro to Vulcan, I stayed behind and after the rest of the class left, I timidly approached Professor Spock.

"Excuse me, Sir. May have a moment of your time?"

"Cadet Davis, how may I be of assistance?"

"Well, Sir, since you are my academic advisor, I was wondering if you would be able to help me find time in my schedule to put more hours into my Phys Ed class. Time management is not a strong suit of mine." I admitted.

"I am available now, if you will follow me to my office." he answered directly.

"Thank you, Sir." I replied and followed him to the opposite side of the building. Professor Spock's office was very warm, not just the temperature, but also the decor was warm. The desk and chairs were made of rich mahogany wood and the room smelled like cloves and cinnamon. He took a seat behind the desk and I sat in the chair in front.

"Tell me about your class schedule and your study schedule."

I told him about my class times and how much time I spent studying. He wrote down everything I said, creating a time table.

"You have here," he showed me all of the places where I had time I could be using for Phys Ed, " here, and here during the week and you are still able to keep your weekend free for recreation. If you use these times, which I insist you do, you will be able to bring your Physical Education grade back to a satisfactory score."

"Sir, I have another question. It's more personal than academic though."

"I will answer it if I can."

"Professor, I am half Orion and half Vulcan. I was adopted by Human parents. Due to my biological parents insisting that I not try to find them, I didn't have anyone to teach me to control my emotions. My family did the best they could, but I know and so do they, that it wasn't enough. Would you, please, teach me to control my emotions?"

"Cadet Davis, this will be adding to your workload. I understand the importance of needing to learn this skill. I will consider your request and let you know my decision on Friday. As it is now late, please allow me to escort you back to your dorm."

"Thank you, Professor."

The walk back to Cunningham Hall was a silent one. Dawn climbed the steps to the door and as Professor Spock turned to leave, the entrance to the dorm opened and a seething Keri Suzuki had lunged at Dawn.

"You got me kicked out! You whore!" she threw a punch toward Dawn's face. Unable to dodge it she was hit squarely in the jaw. "I can't believe you! You're mother must have been whore to produce scum like you!" Keri shoved Dawn backwards down the stairs and instead of hitting cement, she was caught by arms that felt like a brick wall.

"Security, has been called." Spock assured her. Dawn sat down and pulled her knees to her chest. Spock turned back to Keri, "Miss. Suzuki, you will stop this at once. You have now been charged with more than underage drinking, you have attacked a Starfleet cadet. You will never set foot on this campus again."

As security came to detain Keri, Spock turned back to Dawn who was rocking back and forth with her hands covering her face and muttering.

"No."

"Cadet?"

"Stop"

"Cadet Davis?"

"Leave me alone!"

"Cadet Davis, can you hear me?" Spock took hold of her sleeves to pull her hands from her face and was hit with a wave of emotions that knocked the breath from him. Terror. Anger, Humiliation. That didn't matter right now. Right now, he had to get her to Dr. McCoy, but he couldn't pick her up, she would lash out. He tapped his com badge.

"Dr. McCoy, come to Cunningham Hall and bring a sedative."


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4: Practical Application_

 _I left the library later than normal. It was fall so it was darker earlier. I knew I should have left hours ago but I lost track of time. I knew my parents knew where I was. There wasn't really anywhere to go by foot near my house. There was the library, the corner store, and the post office. I started home. I knew the roads like the back of my hand. I took a shorter way thinking that I would be in trouble if I didn't get home right quick. I didn't notice anyone following me until I was grabbed and pulled into the woods by two men in masks._

" _I've never done a green girl." one said_

" _She's a whore, just like her whore mother." claimed the other._

" _No! Stop! Leave me alone!" I cried and tried to push the men off me._

 _They held me down and stripped me of my clothes and forced their way into any opening they could find. I was crying and they punched me so hard I was knocked out. When I woke up, it was almost light and I found they left five credits on the ground next to me._

I startled awake and looked around. Dr. McCoy was at my side.

"Where is Professor Spock and why am I here?" I demanded more than asked.

"Spock is talking with Admiral Jones at the moment about your current situation. You are here, in part, due to your current situation. I am sorry about the comment I made the other night."

"Whatever, it's fine."

"No, it's not fine. You and Spock deserve better and I don't ever apologize to anyone, so take it when it's offered."

I huffed at him and told him I would think about it and let him know.

"Well, that's more than I would expect. You didn't have too much wrong with you. Your jaw had a minor fracture, but that was an easy fix. What was more concerning was the apparent shock you went into. Care to talk about it?"

 _Oh no, did the the Professor see? Does he know?_ "I really don't want to talk about it. Maybe someday, but not now."

It was then that Spock came back to the room and explained that due to the circumstances, I would be reporting to him daily and on the weekends he would be teaching me meditation and emotional control. _Well, there's an answer to my earlier question, I guess._

Saturday morning, I found myself awake earlier than necessary. Nightmares. _God, please rid me of these nightmares. Amen._ I was praying off and on almost two hours before I actually had to be awake to meet Professor Spock. I mentally went through the list of things that calmed me to see what I had time to do.

 _Gardening? No, I can't get into dirt right now._

 _Music? I could get out my mandolin for a bit, maybe._

 _Prayer? I've been praying off and on ever since I woke up. I've got to be more active._

 _A cup of tea? That would be nice._

 _A book? Nah, I have to pay attention to the time and I would get lost in the story._

 _A cup of tea and music it is._

I got up and went to the replicator. "Black tea with lemon and honey...please." I told it and it produced what I asked for a second later. I still hadn't got the replicator to produce a mess of catheads. The one time I tried it, I screamed. On what planet do they eat cat's heads? I shuddered at the memory. Taking my cup of tea to the desk and chair, I sat quietly while sipping the steaming liquid. It was warm and soothed me from my toes to my nose. I've always liked the quiet. There's no one's expectations I have to up hold, no one's lustful emotions to force myself to ignore, and I can just be me.

I finished my tea and returned my cup to the replicator to dispose of it. I got my mandolin from its stand beside my desk and played until it was time to get ready to leave. I, reluctantly, replaced my instrument and put on that dreaded uniform. I braided my hair, brushed my teeth, and decided to skip the makeup. After I zipped up my boots, I grabbed my PADD to look up where the Professor lived, it was just a stone's throw away on the other side of campus in Briggium Manor. Slightly nervous, I pressed the door alarm. _What was today going to be like?_

"Good morning, Cadet, please come in."

"Thank you, Sir." I entered his living room. Much like his office, his home was warm, staged with mahogany furniture and sparsely decorated with pieces of Vulcan art. He sat in a chair and I took the couch.

"Before we begin, I want you to be aware of how I will be guiding you." he waited for acknowledgement.

"Alright" I answered with a nod.

"Our time will be spent in verbal instruction and application. I will guide you through meditation practices and assign you reading from the teachings of Surak"

"Yes Sir."

"Please follow me."

Professor Spock guided me to a secluded area of his apartment. This area was darkened, had pillows on the floor, and there were candles. I began to feel odd seeing this area. It was not something I had expected.

"Sir, this particular area of your home seems...too private for me to be privy to seeing."

"Cadet, this area is meant for meditation. Meditation is normally done in seclusion, however, since I will be teaching you, you have permission to be here."

"I understand." I nodded slowly.

Professor Spock continued to teach me how to sit so my legs wouldn't fall asleep and what to focus or not focus on while attempting to achieve a mental higher plane. It was difficult, but once I reached it, I wanted to stay in that bliss for eternity. Unfortunately after 15 minutes I started crying from finally finding peace.

"Cadet Davis?"

Slowly I came down from my cloud and opened my eyes. "After all these years, I was able to have a little peace but once I found it, I started crying. I could feel it slipping away and the tighter I held onto it, the quicker I lost it."

"I understand. It was much the same for me when I was first learning to control my emotions." He stood and turned toward me with his hands behind his back. "If you would please follow me, I will show you the text I would like you to study for next week."

I stood to follow and as he turned, he placed his hands in front of himself. Unless he was carrying something, I noticed, he never let anyone see his hands. I wondered why this was. I know that we're touch telepaths, but why the secrecy? I followed him to his bookshelf and he handed me a book, an actual book! My eyes lit up, I had seen very few books while growing up and he was trusting me with one of his.

"This is a translated copy of The Teachings of Surak. You will read the first five sections for next Saturday and then we will discuss what you've read. The translations are not quite as accurate in Standard but they convey the meaning of the Vulcan language adequately." He explained.

"Sir, thank you so much."

"Thanks are unnecessary. You are in need of instruction in the ways of Vulcan. It was logical for me to teach you as I am your professor and your adviser."

"Sir, where I grew up, if someone has given something to someone else, be it an object or their time, it is polite to say 'thank you'."

"Then you are welcome, Cadet Davis."


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5: Holidays_

Weeks passed and my grades improved. Thanksgiving had come and gone. Christmas was right around the corner as well as mid-term exams. Luckily I wasn't assigned a new roommate and I was able to create my own version of a meditation space under the empty lofted bed. I was able to reach that higher plane of thought more easily and stay there much longer now that I had been practicing on my own. After we returned from Christmas break, Professor Spock was going to teach me how to control my telepathy. He explained that I had to be able to reach the higher plane to be able to build barriers so I wouldn't keep hearing other people's random thoughts and they wouldn't be privy to mine if I accidentally touched someone.

My family was supportive of my learning about my heritage. My Daddy was a little concerned about the Teachings of Surak and if they collided with the teachings of Jesus and Christianity, but once I explained to him how they actually upheld each other's values he didn't object. In fact, he encouraged me to keep it up. The only thing they were concerned about was that I still hadn't made any friends. I told them that I was fine and that not having distractions helped me to focus on my learning.

It was the week before final exams and that meant two weeks until winter break. I had been keeping my nose in my books and studying. My most favorite class, Xenoanthropology, would be the easiest. I knew the material like the back of my hand.

Intro to Vulcan would be difficult, but being that I was putting into practice what I'd been studying in class with Professor Spock made the lessons understandable. Thanks to the Professor helping me out with my time table, I was also able to get my Physical Education grade up. I actually had more time than was required logged in for my phys ed class. Thanks goodness! I didn't want to have to repeat a year just because of that.

Intro to Starfleet was the one that was going to be a pain to study for. I've never been very good with numbers and the final exam is literally, "Code 223 of the Starfleet handbook says what?" There were so many codes, rules, and regulations to remember and Professor Spock was adamant on not just knowing what the handbook says but also where to find things in the handbook.

Botany 101 wouldn't be too awful. I had learned about several species of crops this semester and how best to care for them. I was actually thinking of planting a few of them in my garden back home. Specifically I wanted to try to find a Lullen tree. It stands about 4.5 meters tall and has silver bark with purple leaves. When it was heavy with fruit, the branches would bough low to the ground until the fruit fell off or someone picked it. The fruit it grows is shaped like a terren lemon, but is this deep red color and tastes like cinnamon. One of the things I really liked about Botany this semester was that we were able to taste the crops we were learning about. Lullen fruit was, by far, my favorite of all of the plants we tried.

While talking with my parents during our monthly call, they reminded me that I needed to get Professor Spock a Christmas gift to say thank you for all of the work he's put into helping me. I didn't know if the Professor celebrated Christmas or not, but being that it was a part of my family's tradition, I couldn't ignore it. Trying to figure out an appropriate gift for Professor Spock seemed like it was more difficult than studying for Intro to Starfleet. I finally decided on Vulcan Spiced Tea and a travel mug. Logically, this gift would be appropriate because I had seen him drink it occasionally. It was cold out, so having a hot beverage would be soothing and I knew he didn't have a travel mug but used the to-go cups from the cafeteria.

On Tuesday, after Intro to Vulcan, I saved my study guide on my PADD that I had been adding notes to and slid it in my messenger bag. I donned my Starfleet issued winter coat, grabbed my bag and after everyone left, walked up to Professor Spock who was standing beside his desk.

"Professor Spock?"

"Yes Cadet Davis?" he answered as he put down the PADD he was reading.

"I have a personal question for you."

"You may ask your question." he stated as he placed his hands behind his back.

"Do you celebrate Christmas?"

"As Christmas is a holiday that was celebrated by my mother, I continue to follow her tradition." I saw a flash of pain behind his eyes. Just a moment and then it was gone. I knew that his mother had been lost in the Nero incident.

"Sir, I apologize…"

"Your apology is not necessary."

That was my que to not talk about the subject anymore. "Sir, would it be alright if I gave you a gift? Just something to say 'thank you'? It is a part of my family's customs."

"You may and I would like to reciprocate."

"That is very kind of you Sir, but the one thing I want most is the one thing no one, can give me." I stared at my shoes and thought of my garden back home.

"Cadet, I apologize if I have offend…"

"Oh, Sir, it's okay." I shook my hand and my head at the same time. "But if you ever see a Lullen tree sapling, I've been wanting to plant one in my garden back home. Since they're not in season right now, they're hard to find."

"I will keep that in mind Cadet." he replied with an ever so slight upturn in the corner of his mouth.

I smiled."Thank you, Sir. May I bring you your gift on Saturday?"

"Saturday would be acceptable."

"Yes Sir. Have a pleasant rest of your day."

"You as well Cadet Davis." he told me and then I turned to leave. I had some shopping to do and a gift to wrap.

On my way back to my dorm room, I called for a taxi. While I was waiting, I dropped off my school bag in exchange for a simple black purse that I hardly ever used. I made sure my wallet and ID were in there and then went back out to my waiting ride. I told the driver to go to The Tea House. The Tea House was a small boutique that was owned and operated by an elderly Betazoid woman called Sarai. She always knew just what blend of tea a person needed.

The taxi parked just outside the store and I asked if the driver would wait for me to come back. She nodded and I stepped out into the cold and shuffled into the warm shoppe. There was a smell of cloves and cinnamon, the classic scent of the holidays. The walls to my left and directly in front of me were lined with wooden shelves. To the right was an area for dining and relaxation. Some soft jazzy instrumental music was playing over the sound system. I had been in here many times before and knew exactly where to find what I was looking for. I walked to the back right corner of the store and began to look for Vulcan Spiced tea.

"Hello Dawn." came a voice from behind me.

"Oh! Hi Sarai. I'm looking for Vulcan Spiced tea. I'm not seeing any."

"We actually just ran out of the pre-blended Vulcan Spiced tea. I sense your disappointment. Was it meant to be a gift?"

"Yes, it's for my professor. He's been helping me out a lot and I wanted to repay his kindness." I had blushed at trying to explain what I meant.

"I understand. I can help you create a special blend of tea using other Vulcan spices. I'm guessing your professor is Vulcan?"

"Yes, Professor Spock is Vulcan."

"Yes, I know your professor! He comes in twice a month for a specific blend of tea. Give me an hour and I can have it ready for you." when she smiled at me, it touched her eyes.

"Really Sarai? That would be wonderful, thank you!" I exclaimed. "I have some other shopping to do. I'll be back in an hour."

"Alright. I'll see you then." She patted my shoulder and I went back out to the cab that was waiting for me. I had the driver take me to the closest department store. There I purchased a silver travel mug, gift box and red wrapping paper. After making my purchase, I went back to The Tea House to pick up the special blend of tea Sarai made for me.

"Thank you Sarai." I said as I paid her.

"You're welcome. But I think that the tea isn't going to be the only thing warming your dear Professor this holiday season." she winked at me.

"Oh, Sarai! He's just my professor. Besides, relationships like that aren't allowed between students and teachers." I insisted.

"That doesn't mean that you can't look. I know I do." She smiled and winked at me and my jaw dropped!

I chuckled, shook my head, and thanked her before I left. _That ornery old lady_. I thought to myself as I got into the cab that took me back to Starfleet. Back in my dorm room, I emptied my shopping bags and wrapped Professor Spock's gift. Then I sat down at my desk and studied for my finals.

The rest of the week seemed to take forever. I was excited to give Professor Spock his gift and practice meditation with him for the last time before the new year. We also had yet to discuss what classes I should take next semester. When Saturday finally came, I was slightly early to the professor's house. I was too excited and although I tried to contain it, I was smiling from ear to ear. I pressed the doorbell and heard a thud and a male voice call out "Spock!" _Odd_ I thought, _Is he okay?_ Just then, the door opened and a perfectly calm professor stepped out.

"Cadet Davis, you are early this morning." he stated plainly.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to be here for another 5 minutes, but I was excited and…" I looked down as he cut me off mid-sentence and promptly placed his hands behind his back.

"Cadet, might I suggest we take a walk to calm your emotions? Exercise does help release excess energy."

"Of course, Sir."

As Professor Spock led the way, he asked me about my family and what our holiday traditions were.

"My family has a huge get-together each Christmas. Our home is very small, so it's really an open invitation to anyone who would like to come. There is no set time for celebrations, except on Christmas Eve when we go to church at 1900 hours. That's when Daddy preaches a candlelight service. When I go home after exams, I'll help my Momma with the cooking, cleaning, and decorating and Daddy and I will chop down the Christmas tree and each spring we plant a new tree in its place." I explained.

"May I ask a personal question?"

"Of course, Professor."

"Why do you not purchase a reusable tree?"

"Sir, I grew up in a humble area. I hope you will not think less of me because of where I'm from."

"I am not sure I understand." he admitted.

"Sir, I am proud to be considered mountain folk. My home is beautiful and full of history, but my community is nothing like you've ever seen."

"Cadet, you misunderstand. Where you come from is no matter. Why would I think less of you when you have never given me a reason? You have performed remarkably in all your courses and you are continuing to improve yourself each day in your practice of Surak's teachings."

"Oh...uh...thank you, Sir." I felt sheepish.

"Thanks are not necessary. I was simply stating fact."

Professor Spock led us back to his home and opened the door. He entered first and I followed. The first thing I saw when I entered his living room was a Christmas tree. It was decorated, well… logically. It had white lights and the red baubles were equally spaced from top to bottom. There was instrumental Christmas music playing and on the view screen was a roaring fire. I heard what could have been an annoyed exhalation escape the Vulcan in front of me, but perhaps I was mistaken.

Realizing I was still holding his gift, I held it out to him, "Professor, Merry Christmas."

"Thank you, Cadet." he said turning and as he took the gift the tips of his fingers brushed against mine. In that simple contact warmth, peace, delight, protection, and _love_ spread through me. I looked into his eyes with confusion on my face.

"Forgive me, Sir. I need to continue studying for finals."

I left him standing holding his gift as I ran back to my dorm. _This isn't possible._ I kept thinking to myself. As soon as I opened my door, I entered and locked it again. I sat in meditation for the next five hours trying to clear my head. At 1423 hours, I came out of my meditative state and paced my room to get the blood flowing back into my legs. Once I had thought everything through, I knew what I had to do. Logically, I had to confront my professor. I didn't think that I could speak with him directly yet, so I sent him a message.

 _Professor,_

 _May I come speak with you regarding a personal matter?_

 _Cadet Davis_

Almost immediately I received a reply.

 _Cadet Davis,_

 _I am available in my office at 1630. I will see you then._

 _Professor Spock_

Well, that gave me just about two hours to figure out exactly what I wanted to say to him.

Nervously, I approached Professor Spock's office door and knocked.

"Enter!" I heard him call from the other side. I did so and was greeted with a formal "hello" and an offer to sit opposite him. As I did, I placed my hands in my lap and looked him in the face.

"Sir." "Cadet" We both spoke at once. I smiled and looked at my hands and sighed.

"Cadet, you may speak first."

"Thank you, Sir. Professor, what happened in your home earlier today? I feel like I should know what it means, but I am confused."

"Cadet, what happened was inappropriate. Relationships between students and teachers is strictly against Starfleet policy."

"Excuse me, Sir. Those emotions were not mine and for you to even suggest that they were is an insult to both of us."

"Cadet, you misunderstand. I was not implying that the emotions you experienced were yours. They were entirely mine. I was simply stating regulation for both our benefit."

"Sir, I am still confused as to what happened and why you haven't given me a straight answer."

"Cadet Davis, you are correct. No matter what happens now, I can not be anything but completely honest with you. The understanding you are searching for is the word t'hy'la."

"T'hy'la." I said the word back slowly trying it out. "Professor"

"I would ask that you call me Spock when we are alone."

"Spock," it felt odd addressing him so familiarly. I felt too vulnerable so I stood and began pacing the room until I could form a coherent thought. "I would like for you to understand something."

Spock stood to meet me and I placed my hands behind my back. "What is it you wish me to know?"

"I'm not ready for any sort of romantic relationship. I don't even have a friend on campus. Spock, there is so much about me that you don't know and to be able to trust someone so completely scares the living daylights out of me!"

"Cadet." Spock took as step closer to me and stopped.

"Call me Dawn, please." I insisted. _Dawn? No one calls me that except my family. Why did I just say that?_

"Dawn. Have I ever given you a reason to fear me?"

"No, never."

"I implore you, do not fear me now."

"Spock, why me? I'm nothing more than a freaky country hick."

"That is a lie Dawn. Do not repeat what others have said about you. May I show you what I know to be true?"

"How?"

"Through a mind meld." he told me as he reached out his hand.

"No." I stated firmly and took a generous step back away from him.

"May I ask why?" Hurt flashed in his eyes and I felt terrible making him feel that way, but he had to understand that I didn't like being touched.

"Spock, did you not understand when I said I'm not ready for a relationship and that there were things about me that I couldn't trust with anyone else?"

"You are correct, I do not fully understand." he calmly admitted.

I sighed, sat back down, and put my head in my hands. I didn't want to have to go here. I didn't want to have to reveal my past to anyone. I spoke my next words carefully while staring at the floor.

"Spock, I do not like being touched by men. My body has been through hell and high water and I barely came out alive. No, I don't mean that figuratively." I heard a soft but audible growl and I raised my head in alert motion. Spock must have seen the fear his growl produced in me because at once his face softened and he sat on the floor at my feet.

"Dawn, I apologize for frightening you. It is rare for a Vulcan to find their t'hy'la. When this happens, they become extremely protective. To think of you being hurt in such a fashion caused the reaction you witnessed. Dawn, we can travel this relationship as slow as you wish, but now that we know of each other, I will not let you be put in that situation ever again."

Spock's voice was calm and soothing. It was something I didn't expect.

"Nemaiyo" I thanked him in Vulcan

"Goh sanoyaling t'hy'la. **.** " he whispered. (I am pleased to do it, beloved.)

I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. "I reckon this means you'll be coming home with me for Christmas?" I asked timidly.

"Although I do wish to accompany you, your family does not yet know of what has transpired. It would be best to tell them over break. I do insist you converse with me at least once a day."

"Spock, that will be near impossible in the mountains of West Virginia. It's hard enough to speak with my family once a month as it is." I could see he was growing impatient.

"Then I have no choice but to travel with you." he stated plainly.

"Spock, you really don't have to. I'll be back at the start of the semester. I'll be with my Daddy and Momma the whole break. I will write to you as often as I can. It's only two weeks. Besides, winter in Bluefield is brutal to outsiders.

"Dawnaka, that will not be possible. I do understand your concern and I do not wish to dishonor you or your family. Is there lodging available near your home?"

"There are hotels in town, but I don't live in town. Well, this a mighty fine peck of trouble we're in. If we weren't meant to be together, my family would've taken you in, but since that's not the case…"

Spock shook his head, "We will make this work." he assured me. "For our relationship to grow, we must work together and find a solution."

"Would you consider staying in town until I talked with my family?"

"That would be a logical solution. However, I insist that I take you home before I go to the hotel."

"I think that would work out just fine." I smiled at him.

"Come with me." he said as he got up. "I still have your Christmas gift at my home."

"Alright" I said quietly and walked behind him.

"T'hy'la, you are my equal. Walk beside me." He gestured to his right. "I believe that it is said in your faith that 'Woman was not created from the head of man to overpower him, or his foot to crush her; but from his side, to be his equal, close to his heart to be cherished, and under his arm so she would be protected."

"Spock, have you studied Christianity?"

"I have not studied the religion extensively, but it has gained my interest since you had mentioned the teachings of Surak and your faith are similar in some ways."

As we made our way back to his home, we talked about the ways the teachings of Surak and the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth were similar. He opened the door for me and asked me to sit at the table. His home smelled wonderful. He had prepared an end meal of m'lu and plomeek soup. After eating in silence and then washing the dishes, we convened in the living room.

With the fire crackling on the screen and soft holiday music playing in the background. we sat on the couch and conversed about many things - work, school, family. It was still hard for him to talk about his mother, but I could tell from how he spoke about her that he cared for her dearly and missed her something fierce. Christmas must have been bittersweet for him, just as it was for me.

"Would you be interested in the location of your biological parents?" Spock asked at one point in the conversation.

"If that question would have been posed to me when I was a youngin, I would've said 'yes'. However, my birth parents left a note when they left me on the steps of the church where my Daddy preaches. The note said that I was a product of Pon Far and in either society I would've been an embarrassment. Neither of them took the responsibility of parent and that's just fine with me." I explained.

"Fine' has varying definitions. 'Fine' is not acceptable." came the reply.

"Spock, I have no desire to know my biological parents. I am content with my Momma and Daddy and the rest of my family. Although society on Earth hasn't completely accepted me, my family does and I am loved perfectly by God. Spock, not always is family related by blood."

"I understand t'hy'la. I trust I did not cause you any discomfort by asking about this."

"Oh, of course not. I've been asked that question so many times in my life, answering it is no problem for me anymore." I insisted.

"I do have another personal question, if I may ask it?"

I nodded in the affirmative.

"The words, 'Daddy' and 'Momma' I understand these terms to be used by small terren children, but you are no longer a child."

I chuckled at that, "That's just part of my culture. You'll find I say a lot of things that aren't usual 'round here, or anywhere else for that matter. I'll have to remember to define these words if I use them in our talks."

"That would be helpful, I must admit." he nodded. "It is getting late, you need rest. I will accompany your back to your dorm."

"Thank you, Spock."

"Thanks are not necessary. It is what is expected." Spock stated as a matter of fact.

On the way back to my dorm, he told me about how he had contacted the head of Starfleet Academy and was granted permission for our relationship to continue. I had told him that I was worried about that. As I opened my door, he bid me, "Rom-mu-yor t'nash-veh Dawn."

"Good night, Spock." I said with a smile as I stepped through the entryway. He bowed his head, turned, and left. I sprinted back to my room. Once inside, I near melted in puddle on the floor. Oh, when that man spoke Vulcan! I had never in my life heard anyone in any language so calm and gentle as Spock when he spoke Vulcan. That night, I went to sleep with a smile on my face.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6: Family and Traditions_

Professor Spock and I took a shuttle back home and then he insisted on renting a vehicle so he would be able to come see me each day. I had sent my Daddy a message during finals week saying that Professor Spock would like to meet and talk with them and that he would give me a ride home. I was the one that drove though after I explained how dangerous the roads could be to someone who didn't know them.

We drove through town and I showed him three hotels he could choose from. After another half hour of driving, I pulled up to the small, white, two story house on Buffalo Hill Road. "Well, this is it." I said as I unbuckled and got out. I went to get my luggage, but Spock beat me to it. "Thank you."

"Thanks are not...you are welcome." he corrected himself after I gave him a pointed look. I smiled and shook my head.

As we walked up the path to the front door, Spock paused.

"Is everything alright, Spock?"

"Yes, t'hy'la. Let us go inside."

I opened the door and called out, "Daddy, Momma, I'm home!" as we entered my living room.

A dark skinned beauty wearing dark blue jeans, a white tunic, and a festive apron covered in flour jogged into the living room and threw her arms around me.

"Welcome home, baby girl."

"Thanks Momma. It's good to be home. I've brought a guest."

Momma took a step back and finally looked at Spock. "Momma, this is Professor Spock. Professor, this is my Momma, Anna Davis."

Momma held out the Ta'al "Live long and prosper, Mr. Spock."

"Peace and long life, Mrs. Davis" he replied in similar fashion.

"Momma, where's Daddy?"

"He's down in his office, where else would he be this close to Sunday?" Anna went to a door just outside of the living room and opened it. "Jeff, your daughter's home and she brought a guest!"

I heard foot falls coming up the basement steps and through the doorway came a tall, balding man, in khakis and a blue button up shirt, my Daddy. I gave him a hug and he kissed the top of my head. "I missed you, beautiful. How are you?"

"I'm doing just fine, Daddy, I want you to meet Professor Spock. Professor, this is my Daddy, Jeff Davis."

The Ta'al was exchanged once again. "Momma, I think your catheads are just about done."

"Goodness, thanks for reminding me!" she called as she ran off.

"Mr. Spock, would you like to stay for supper? I want to hear all about how my daughter is doing in your classes."

"Very well Mr. Davis, if you insist."

"I do. I'll be right back. I need to go shut down my computer for the night." Spock nodded and Jeff trugged back down the stairs.

"Supper will be done in about 10 minutes." Momma called from the kitchen.

"Thank you, Momma!" I hollered back.

I turned to Spock and he looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Cat heads?" he asked cautiously.

I smiled, "I promise, it's not what you're thinking. Catheads are a type of biscuit. I hope you'll be alright with the food here. It is definitely different compared to Vulcan food. It's kinda different compared to everywhere else for that matter."

"I expect that it would be."

I nodded, "I'm going to go put my bag in my room. I'll be right back." I grabbed the bag and headed up the stairs.

Jeff came back up from the basement. "Where did Dawn get to?" he asked looking around.

"She went to put her belongings away." Spock reassured him.

"Ah, thank you." Jeff turned toward the stairs. "Dawn, come on down to the kitchen when you're done."

"Alright, Daddy. I'll be down soon!"

"Mr. Spock, follow me into the kitchen and we'll have have ourselves a chat."

Spock followed Mr. Davis into the small eat-in kitchen. The walls were white with yellow border. Along one wall was the stove, counter, and sink. In the corner opposite the stove was the fridge. The small kitchen table was shoved against the far wall. There were four mismatched chairs, one on each end and two in the middle.

"Anna, supper smells wonderful, especially those soup beans." Jeff complemented and smooched her on his way through. "Don't worry, we've adopted a vegetarian lifestyle since Dawn became a part of our family." Jeff told him as he sat in a chair on one end.

"That was logical of you." Spock nodded and chose one of the chairs in the middle.

"Mr. Spock, you seem to be a man of few words. I hope that Dawn hasn't talked your ear off in class."

Spock wasn't entirely sure what Mr. Davis had meant by that, but through an educated guess, he deduced that Mr. Davis was asking if Dawn talked out of turn during her time spent in class.

"Dawn is respectable pupil and the subjects on which she comments benefit the class as a whole."

"That is mighty fine to hear. Mr. Spock." Mrs. Davis commented.

"I'm back." I announced as I came into the kitchen. "Is there anything you need help with, Momma?"

"Set the table." Momma told me. I nodded and began to get bowls, cups and silverware out and placed them on the table at each spot. I then went and looked in the fridge, closed it again and walked over to Spock.

"Professor, we have water, unsweetened iced tea, almond milk, or I can put the kettle on for hot tea. Which would you prefer."

"Water, thank you, Miss. Davis." I got him and myself a glass of water, Daddy and Momma wanted tea. Once the drinks were served, we sat down to pray for our meal and then I served everyone's supper. Once finished, Spock offered to help me wash the dishes, but I insisted that because he was a guest, he didn't need to.

"It is alright, I will help." he insisted.

"Alright, but you're going to wash and rinse. I'll dry and put them away."

"Agreed."

Daddy and Momma left the kitchen to go to the living room. We were told to come sit a spell when we were done.

"T'hy'la, we must tell them tonight. They will wonder why I am here everyday if we do not."

"I understand that, but I'm nervous. I've never brought home a guy before and I don't know how my parents will take it."

"What are y'all yakin about in there?" Momma called out to us.

"We'll tell ya when we're done in here." I answered.

"Well, y'all are slower than molasses."

"Sorry Momma."

Spock looked at me with an upturned eyebrow. "I'm sorry about all the slang. Momma wants to know what we're talking about and we're taking too long to get the dishes done. She's just excited that I'm home."

"Then I suggest we finish our work quickly and join your parents." I agreed and we finished quickly. Out in the living room, Daddy and Momma were in their chairs and Spock and I took the couch.

"Momma, Daddy, there's something I need to tell you." I began but paused and looked at Spock and then back at them. I didn't know what to say next.

"Well, come on now. Spit it out." said my Momma.

I looked at Spock. "She means, if we have something to say, we should just say it." He nodded once and took over the conversation.

"Miss. Davis and I have recently discovered that a bond has been formed between us. This bond is permanent and is one that will yield to a romantic nature as it becomes stronger."

I could tell this wasn't going well. My parents just stared at us, not saying a thing.

Then Momma's face changed, "Well slap my head and call me Sally! Dawn brought back herself a boyfriend."

"Yes, Momma, but it's more than that."

"Mr. Spock, I believe we should talk more about this tomorrow." Jeff finally spoke up.

"Of course. Have a pleasant evening Mr. and Mrs. Davis." Spock got up and walked to the door. I followed him. Then he turned back to me "Dawn, I will return at 0900 tomorrow. "Rom-mu-yor t'nash-veh t'hy'la."

My smile touched my eyes. "Good night, Spock." He turned and walked out the door. Dawn waited until Spock was out of the driveway before she turned back to face her parents.

"Dawnaka Rose Davis, how long has this been going on?" my Daddy was clearly disappointed in me. "You've never kept anything this important from us before. Why now?"

"Daddy, I didn't mean to keep anything from you. I promise that nothing bad has happened. Spock knows that I'm not looking for a romantic relationship right now, but the bond that was formed…"

"Tell us more about this bond. How did it happen?" Momma questioned.

I told them both what had happened with Spock's Christmas gift and about why this bond was considered unbreakable. "I'm still learning about it myself." I explained, "What I do know is that Spock is loyal and protective. He makes me smile, Daddy."

"What did he say to you before he left?" Daddy asked.

"He just told me good night."

"It was something more than that. I saw the way you smiled at him." Momma pointed out.

"He called me 't'hy'la.' In Vulcan it means 'beloved." I confessed.

"Does he know about your past?" Daddy asked in a more calm manner.

"Not completely. I'll tell him when I'm ready." I replied.

"It's been an eventful night." Momma got up and kissed my head. "Get to bed. Spock will be here in the morning and tomorrow's Christmas Eve."

"Alright. Goodnight Momma, Daddy." I hugged them in turn and made my way up to my bedroom.

I woke up refreshed the next morning around seven. After throwing on a pair of blue jeans, a cream t-shirt, and a violet cardigan. I skipped to the bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth while I decided on a hairstyle for the day. After pulling my hair up into a ponytail, I bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning Momma." I said as I gave her a smootch and started a pot of coffee.

"Morning baby. How did you sleep?" she asked as she mixed up pancake batter.

"Finer than frog hair cut five ways." I smiled at her.

"It's this boy isn't it? I can see it all over your face." she accused.

"Maybe, but he's not a boy."

"If he's younger than me or Daddy, he's a boy." she said while pointing at me with a batter covered spoon.

"Ya, know, I'm not exactly sure how old he is." I thought out loud.

"If you're planning on being with him for the long haul, you might want to find that out. Before I forget, your Daddy has something he wants to ask you when he gets down here."

"Okay." I silently wondered what it could be. The coffee finished brewing and I went to the cupboard, "Do you want a cup, Momma?"

"Sure, baby, thanks."

I got two cups down and poured cream and coffee in both while Momma finished making pancakes. Daddy came into the kitchen and kissed us both good morning. He was just about to get himself a cup of coffee when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get." he told us as he walked out to the living room. Jeff opened the door and welcomed Spock inside. "Come on in the kitchen. You're just in time for breakfast."

"Good morning, Spock. Come sit down and eat with us." I offered while I got a jar of strawberry preserves and honey from the cupboard. He sat and I helped my Momma put the food on the table while she got out dishes and silverware. "Would you like some coffee, Spock?" I asked before sitting down.

"Yes, thank you t'hy'la."

"Would you like anything in it?"

"No, black is acceptable."

Anna gave Jeff a look after hearing the conversation. She shook her head and sat down. After giving thanks for the food and the preparations that went into making it, they all ate. Once they were done, Jeff spoke up.

"Dawn, I have something I need to ask you."

"Sure, Daddy." I nodded while I helped Momma clean off the table.

"Spock, would you please help Anna clean up in here?" Jeff asked.

"Of course, Mr. Davis." he replied.

My Daddy turned back to me and said, "Follow me."

I put down the things that I had in my hands and followed Daddy down to his office.

"Hey, baby girl. I know that you said you weren't ready to talk to Spock about everything yet, so I thought that he and I could go get the Christmas Tree while you put out the blanket."

I thought for a moment. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Thanks Daddy." I hugged him.

"You're welcome. I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

We walked up the stairs to find Spock and my Momma chatting in the living room.

"Spock," Jeff chimed in when there was a pause in their conversation, "I need your help with something."

"How may I be of assistance?"

"Get your coat, hat, and gloves, and follow me."

Spock and Daddy left to cut down our Christmas tree. Momma got up after they left, "Dawn, go get your coat on. I'll be right back."

I did as I was told. Momma came back with the blanket made of pine branches and some stakes and a hammer. She had it tied with a festive bow and ribbons. "Spend as much time as you need to out there." she told me.

"Alright, thank you Momma."

I left out the back door, and crunched through the snow in the backyard, and up the hill through the woods to my garden. Even in the winter she was beautiful. I put the blanket down in the exact middle and pounded the steaks into the ground so it wouldn't blow away. I sat on the bench that faced her and wept.

An hour later I decided it was time to go back home. I walked through the back door and heard my Daddy and Spock bringing the tree into the living room.

"That is a mighty fine tree, gentlemen." Momma commended them. She heard me come through the doorway and looked at me. "Jeff, will you help me get the decorations for the tree?" Daddy looked at her who then glanced toward me. He nodded and after the tree was in it's stand, they left.

Spock sat down on the couch and offered for me to sit next to him. "Dawn, you're sad, why?"

I looked at him with confusion written all over my face. How could he tell I was sad? I had my shields up.

"T'hy'la, I can feel your sadness through our bond. Will you please, tell me what is wrong?"

"Christmas time is bittersweet for me." I paused and he looked at me knowing there was more to it than that. "Spock, that's all I can say right now. Please don't ask anymore." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. My parents came back in with boxes of decorations in their hands. I could feel embarrassment creeping in. "Please, excuse me." I got up and left for my room.

Spock looked to Jeff and Anna. "Will she be alright?"

Anna sat down the box she was carrying and went over to sit by him. "Spock, my daughter has been through Hell and back again. I don't know if Vulcans have an equivalent of that, but there will always be a part of her that will never heal. Just give her time. What I can tell you is that she is starting to trust you."

"How do you know this?"

"She cried in front of you." Anna answered and patted him on his knee. She stood up and went back to the box of decorations and began to rummage through them. Spock stood up to help, but Jeff came over to him before he could do anything.

"Her room is at the top of the stairs on the left." Jeff whispered to him.

"Excuse me." said Spock as climbed the staircase.

I was curled up under my covers when I heard a knock on my door. "Who is it?" I called out.

"It is Spock. May I come in, t'hy'la?"

I wiped my face with my hands. "Yes." I answered and sat up.

My door opened and I saw Spock's face change from a look of stoicism to a look of concern.

"Oh, T'hy'la." was all he said before he came and sat on my bed with me. "I do not know what has happened, but it is more than just sadness I feel from you. Tushah nash-veh k'du."

I launched myself into his arms and cried. He gently took my hair down from it's ponytail and ran his fingers through my hair. I could feel waves of comfort and strength coming from him and my sobbing seaced. It was then that I realized my comforter had been sent to me in the form of a half Vulcan, half human angel.

"Nemaiyo"

"Taluhk nash-veh k'dular. **.** " he whispered.

"Will you forgive me for not being able to tell you everything yet?" I asked timidly.

"Of course, but there is nothing to forgive."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew." I whispered under my breath.

"Dawn, look at me." he asked more than told and I did so. "There is nothing in the entire universe that could stop me from devoting my life to you. There is also something I wish to discuss with you, but this is not the time. Will you forgive me for not telling you everything yet?"

"Yes, Spock. I understand the importance of secrets."

"Thank you for trusting me."

"You're welcome." I smiled knowing that I wasn't alone in having to keep secrets and that things were going to be alright.

"Lunch is ready!" we heard my Daddy call up the stairs.

"We're coming!" I hollered back. I gave Spock another hug before we left my room. Spock followed me down the stairs and we met Daddy at the bottom.

"Did y'all have a nice chat?" he asked me.

"Yeah" I nodded.

Daddy looked at Spock and nodded who then returned the gesture. After lunch we went to the living room and Momma did the most embarrassing thing ever.

"Momma! Why did you drag that old thing out here? I don't think Spock really wants to see it."

"On the contrary, I am most intrigued." he chimed in.

Momma sat on the other side of Spock and handed him a large binder. "This is Dawn's photo album." Anna explained.

"That is my entire childhood in there." I corrected. "Momma, please." I gave her a concerned look.

"Don't worry so much. I took the ones out that I know you didn't want him to see."

"Alright." I agreed and glad she understood.

The photo album started when my parents were given the right to adopt me as their own. I was only six months old. The album progressed through time. There were pictures of me with missing teeth, me in an elementary school play (I was a flower). In junior high, I made the honor society and there were photos of me and my science fair project. My project was on the life cycle of sunflowers. Then there was me as a freshmen in high school, I was in the choir. My sophomore year my class took a trip to see an opera. I remember liking the formal wear. I actually felt pretty in my long cobalt blue evening gown. Then there was me as a high school graduate. That was just this past spring.

"Spock, do you have any photos from your childhood?" I asked.

"I do, they are at my father's house." he explained. "I notice your passion for plants began when you were young. I understand your fascination of botany. What caused your curiosity in xenoanthropology?" he asked with curiosity in his eyes.

I smiled, "Spock, I'm half Orion and half Vulcan. I grew up knowing almost nothing about where I come from. I believe that lack of knowledge gave me the desire to want to know about everywhere."

"Fascinating." was the only response.

Momma interrupted our conversation. "Dawn, we got to get going soon. It's time to get ready to go."

"Oh, shoot! Is it that time already?" I asked and Momma nodded. "Spock, do you remember how I told you about going to church on Christmas Eve?"

"Yes."

"Well, I've got to get ready to go. Will you come with us?"

"Is my attire appropriate?"

"Spock, you could come to church in your pajamas and no one would care. However, people do tend to dress their best for holidays." I explained.

" I will return momentarily." he told me as he got up.

"Alright, I'm going to go change and fix my hair and makeup."

I got up and headed up to my room. I pulled out my favorite dress. It was a red tea length evening dress with lace sleeves and a bow tied at the back around the waist. I walked across the hall to the bathroom where I put my hair up in a french twist and applied the lightest amount of makeup.

"Dawn, you better get down here. Your man cleans up real nice." Momma hollered up the stairs.

I dashed back to my room to grab my black flats and matching clutch. I could never walk in heels without falling on my face. I could hear my parents talking with Spock as I came down the stairs. My jaw nearly dropped and my arched eyebrows arched even higher. Spock was wearing a black three piece suit with a charcoal necktie and pocket square.

"Wow...Spock." my eyes couldn't drink enough of him in. "You look...very nice." _Why have words escaped me all of a sudden?_

"And you are exquisite. Your parents are already on their way to your church. Shall we go?" He asked as he held my coat for me.

"Thank you. Yes, we do need to leave." I said as he helped me put my coat on.

"Please hold on to me. There is a large patch of ice on your driveway." Spock informed me while offering his arm. I hesitated for a moment, but then I did take his arm. There wasn't really a reason to hesitate anymore and the driveway was pretty slick.

On the way to church I told him about the meaning of Christmas.

"It is not logical that a young woman would conceive a child in such a way. Based on this alone, how is the religion of Christianity factual? " Spock noted.

"I understand your thinking and I would agree with it had I not experienced certain situations through out my life." I then explained why Jesus was born.

"Jesus and his disciples taught logically. One verse says, 'be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.' Another verse says, 'treat others the way you would want to be treated.' What is illogical about knowing all of the facts before one speaks their mind or treating others with kindness and compassion?"

Spock stopped the car and in the glowing of the dash light, I could see his eyes piercing through me. I obviously said the wrong thing. I could feel anger through our bond. Anger that I've never felt before.

"Spock, I'm sorry, please forgive me!" My arm shot over my head and I braced myself, but after a moment I peeked from behind my defensive posture. The anger across the bond subsided and it was replaced with worry.

Spock started driving again and we made it to church on time. "You don't have to come in if you don't want to." I told him timidly as I got out of the car. I walked up to the little white building and went in. Everyone was already seated so, I sat in the pew at the very back against the wall. The sermon and the songs were the same every year. We read from the book of Luke and just before we sang Silent Night, I slipped out of the building like I had last year. I walked out to the bench just outside the building and brushed the snow off of it and sat.

"Dawn, may I sit?"

I looked up and saw Spock. I nodded and he sat with me.

"Why are you out in the cold? Service is still going on, is it not?"

"There's too many memories in that building, ones that I wish I could forget sometimes." I answered back quietly and continued to stare out into the woods behind the church.

"Dawn, I hope you know that I am not angry with you and I would never hurt you."

"No, Spock. I don't know that. Just because you've never done anything before, doesn't mean you won't." I snapped and immediately regretted it. What if it was my tone of voice that would set him off again?

"What can I do to prove myself to you?"

"I don't know, Spock. Give me time, I suppose. Prove it through your actions and words." I started to shiver.

"Dawn, please come back to the car where it's warm." Spock asked while standing up and offering me his hand.

I stood up and refused the arm he held out for me. I crunched my way through the snow back to the car and got in. All I wanted was be alone.

"Take me home, please?" I asked after he got in.

He opened his mouth, but then closed it and started the car. The drive home was silent. When we got home, I got out of the car. No 'goodnight,' no 'see you tomorrow,' nothing. I walked in through the front door and up the stairs to my room to change into something warmer. I heard a knock at the door.

"T'hy'la, please speak with me. You are upset."

I opened the door and walked past him pulling my coat on. I sprinted down the stairs and towards the back door, where I kept my boots.

"Spock, don't follow me. I just need to be alone right now." I insisted. I left him standing there as I ran up the hill.

Spock heard the front door open and close.

"Where has she gone?" I asked Jeff.

"Where has who gone?" he asked.

Anna's face grew dark. "Spock, she went to her garden. You're faster than us, run straight up the hill until it plateaus, then go left. There is a path through the trees, now run!"

I charged out the back door and up the hill. Her footprints were illuminated by the full moon. I followed until I saw her with her coat off and her back to me and sitting on a bench. I was suddenly hit by a wave of pain. Why was she in pain?

"T'hy'la what's wrong?" I approached her cautiously. When I came around to face her, I saw a knife in her right hand and dark green blood coming from her left forearm. She moved to cut again. I reached out a took hold of her right hand to stop her. I was able to pry the weapon from her fingers and I flung it behind me.

"Why do you want me, Spock? I'm damaged goods! I'm useless, no actually I'm only useful for one thing and I can't even do it right!" she stood and yelled at me.

"Dawn, I do not understand. Why would you do this? You are precious to me. What about doing to others as you would have them do to you? Do you know how seeing you like this affects me?" I was now scared for her.

"Spock, you don't even believe that! So, why does it even matter?" she demanded to know.

I placed my hands on her shoulders so I knew she could see me. "It matters to me because you matter to me." I stated firmly, "Dawnaka Rose Davis, I love you."

"Spock, look behind you." I did as she asked. I saw pine branches laying on the snow. "Welcome to my daughter's grave." I looked back at her with wide eyes and she collapsed.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7: Lily Ann_

In the local hospital, the unconscious Dawn was placed in a bio bed. Spock felt completely helpless as he watched the medical staff knit her self-inflicted wound. She was given blood through an IV. Spock, Jeff, and Anna sat in chairs around her bed. Spock put himself into a meditative state. He had to regain control of his emotions. He knew that Dawn would feel his concern, hurt, and fear through their bond as she started to wake. 

After he sufficiently blocked his emotions from her, he looked to her parents. "Mr. Davis, why was I kept in the dark about Dawn's daughter?"

"Spock, I believe you have some idea of what she's been through. What you don't know is that the summer before her junior year of high school, she was still having a hard time controlling her Orion pheromones. She never had anyone to teach her. She was trying her best by learning as much as she could about her heritage but without the proper guidance, her efforts were nearly fruitless. One night she stayed at the library too long and she was attacked while walking home. There were two of them. We were searching everywhere for her. She made her way home on her own the next morning. When we saw her, she was bloodied, had broken bones, and a month later we found out she was pregnant."

Anna reached into her purse and pulled out two photos and gave them to Spock. One was a sonogram of a 7 month old baby still developing. The other was of Dawn smiling with her hands framing her growing abdomen.

"On Christmas Eve that year," Anna explained, " we were in the middle of service when Dawn had a miscarriage. By the time we rushed her to the hospital, Lily was stillborn."

"Was there an explanation as to why Lily did not survive?" Spock asked handing the photos back to her.

"The only thing that the doctors could figure was that Dawn's DNA and the other man's was not compatible. According to the doctor, it was a medical miracle that Dawn was able to conceive at all."

Spock listened carefully to everything that they were telling him. "Did she seek help with the trauma she endoured?"

"We sent her to several counselors, but even though they tried their best, they weren't able to help her." Jeff explained.

"Perhaps the healers on New Vulcan would be able to help her." Spock suggested. "She was doing well during her time at the academy."

"Jeff, what do you think about having Dawn go to New Vulcan?" Anna asked her husband.

"Would she still be able to attend the academy? Being able to go there was what started bringing her out of her depression. I think that being at home isn't good for her. There are too many memories here that she can't cope with yet." he replied.

Spock spoke up, "She would still be able to attend the academy where I will guide her in perfecting her meditation but during the summer, she would travel to New Vulcan and be with the healers. She will have a home with my father."

"I think that's the best idea. I also think it would be best for you both to go back to the academy tomorrow." Jeff said, "Spock, you really do love my daughter, don't you?"

"I do." he answered without hesitation.

Jeff looked to his wife who just nodded. "She'll be safer with you and on New Vulcan. We love her and we only want what's best for her." Jeff explained.

"I understand." said Spock, "Mr. and Mrs. Davis, you are both in need of rest. I will stay with Dawn."

"Thank you, Spock." Anna said as she stood up. "We'll be back in the morning." she walked over to her sleeping daughter and kissed her forehead. Jeff followed in suit.

"Good night, Spock." Jeff said as he escorted his wife from the hospital room.

"Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Davis." he replied.

I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling. Wondering where I was, I pushed myself into a seated position and looked around. I'm in the hospital? Images of the night before came flooding back and immense regret washed over me. What had I done? Spock had tried to explain. I didn't listen and flew off the handle. I glanced down at my arms. One had an incredibly faint scar and the other had an IV sticking out of it. I gazed around my room only to find Spock sleeping in a chair to my left. Spock stayed with me? Why? I peered into his sleeping face. He seemed so relaxed, so at ease, so peaceful.

A nurse came in to check my vitals. "How long has he been here?" I asked him.

"He's been here since he brought you in last night. Your vitals look good. I'll check with your doctor, but I bet you'll be able to go home today." the nurse told me.

"Thanks." I replied and he left.

"How can you love me with everything I've just put you through?" I whispered and hung my head.

"My love for you is limitless."

I raised my head to see Spock sitting upright. "Why?" I questioned.

"You are the one who has saved my life without even knowing it. Dawn, I love you for you, that includes your past, our present, and our future." Spock pulled his chair closer and gently touched my hand. I couldn't feel anything through our bond.

"Spock, have you blocked our bond?" I was slightly hurt.

"T'hy'la, I've had to put up my barriers because my emotions were too strong. I only want what's best for you." he explained.

"Thanks. Why were you so angry last night? You said you weren't angry with me but I must have…"

"Dawn, you did nothing wrong. I was remembering how my mother died and who killed her. I am still angry at Nero even though he is dead."

"Spock." I whispered and held his hand more firmly. "I am so sorry...about...everything."

"T'hy'la, I am the one who must apologize. I did not show the kind of restraint I should have and that caused the situation we are currently in. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course." I answered as sweetly as possible.

"Good morning, sugar." I heard my Momma's voice and looked up to the door. I saw her and Daddy carrying boxes of Christmas gifts.

"Momma, Daddy, what's all this?"

"We thought we'd bring Christmas to you, baby girl." Daddy replied.

"Thank you, I feel terrible that I don't have your gifts with me. I left them in my bedroom." I told them.

"It's alright honey, you've already given us the best gift ever." Momma said as she put the box down in an empty chair. I looked at her curiously and she made her way over to me. "It's you, baby girl. You are the best gift your Daddy and I have ever gotten." She took my face with both her hands and kissed my forehead.

"I love you Momma. Love you too, Daddy."

"We love you very much." Daddy said as he handed me my first gift. It was the second time that I would spend Christmas in the hospital. It was still bittersweet, but at least it was a little better than the last time. I looked over at Spock and smiled as he opened his gift from my parents. I received a small upturn of his lips. Once all the gifts were opened, we ordered brunch and then my family told me about a decision they made with Spock last night.

"Dawn," Daddy started, "Your Momma, Spock and I have something we'd like you to do."

"Okay?" I asked timidly looking from my parents to Spock.

"We'd like for you to go back with Spock to the academy tonight and during the summer, we want you to go to New Vulcan. There are people there who would be able to help you. Spock says you would be welcome to stay with his father."

"Why do you want me to leave so soon?" I asked now on high alert.

"Dawn, there are too many bad memories for you here. We love you and we want what's best for you. You know that your Momma and I will take care of Lily for you. You still have your locket, so she'll be with you no matter where you go."

I touched the silver locket around my neck and looked at Spock. For the first time since I received it, I took off my locket. I handed it to Spock, "Open it." I instructed.

When he did, he saw two things, there was a tiny lock of black hair behind clear plastic and there was a photo of a baby girl with light green skin, pointed ears, and black hair. Spock gazed back up at me and I could see a small smile starting to form. He returned my locket and I put it back around my neck.

The doctor walked in the room and double checked my charts and vitals, then he turned to me and said, "You look like you're doing fine, physically. I do want you to start seeing a counselor though. I have a few recommendations here and I would like for you to start taking this medication."

Spock spoke up, "That will not be necessary. She will be going to New Vulcan to be with the healers there."

The doctor nodded his head, "I'm glad to know you've got a plan in place and you have a great support system." he told me. "I'll have a nurse come in and take out that IV for you." he said before he left.

Moments later, the nurse from earlier came back in and took out my IV. "You can get a shower if you want before you leave. If you need anything else, please let us know."

I thanked him and thought that a shower was a good idea. Luckily I got a brand new outfit for Christmas, so I had a change of clothes. "I'm going to go get a shower." I announced as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Grabbing my new clothes, I headed to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom feeling much better after washing and brushing my teeth. I looked around, but only saw Spock.

"Where did my parents get off to?" I asked him.

"They took our gifts to the cars. They also brought your luggage so we would be able to leave for the academy from here." he explained.

As I heard this, my mind drifted to my daughter's garden. I would miss being there. It was one of the ways I could be close to her. My breathing became hard.

"Dawn, please, tell me what is on your mind." said Spock.

"I'm going to miss being with Lily."

"She is still with you. A part of her is in your locket. Your parents will maintain your garden for her."

"Logically, I know this. Emotionally, the only thing that was more difficult was knowing that she was dead as I gave birth to her. I don't know if I'm explaining myself well enough." I sighed.

"I do not know if I fully understand, but I am here to support you in any way I can."

"Thank you," I stepped to him, looked him in the eyes, and took his hand, "T'hy'la."


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8:_ _Preparations_

Saying goodbye to my parents was hard. We agreed to keep the same comm schedule once a month. The trip back to the Academy was actually quite enjoyable despite all of the things that I had put Spock and my family through. We talked about our likes and dislikes. I introduced some of my favorite kinds of music to him and he asked if I was a musician. I told him that I had learned to play the mandolin, but I only ever played it for myself. I had learned that he played something called a Ka'athyra and as I had never heard one, he told me he would perform for me some day. That made me smile.

"Spock, we missed the turn to go to my dorm." I pointed out when we were back on campus.

"You will be staying with me until the semester begins. At that time, you will go back to your dorm room." he told me as a matter of fact.

"Spock, that's really not necessary." I protested as we parked.

"Dawn, it is not good for you to be alone. I had promised that I would care for you. I will do so the rest of my life. A Vulcan does not lie."

"Oh, well...I don't want to make you out to be a lair. So, alright, I guess." I was hesitant about sharing his apartment with him.

"There is no reason to be apprehensive. You are safe t'hy'la." he brushed his fingers over the back of my hand and I could barely feel calm he sent me through our bond. He still had his emotions locked away but it was nice to know that he wanted our bond to remain open. I looked at him with a small smile. He nodded once and then got out to get his luggage. I followed suit and after he entered his key code, we walked into his living room. He went to his room and put his things away.

I looked around wondering where to put my stuff. Apparently, Spock understood my confused look when he came back because he said, "Dawn, you may use my bedroom."

"Oh, thank you." I replied. This whole situation was weird. Out of all the rooms I had seen in his home, his bedroom was the only one that I had never seen and for good reason. I hesitated before walking through his bedroom door.

"It is only a bedroom." Spock said as began to busy himself at his desk on the far side of his living room.

"Right, yeah." I nodded and went in. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. The room was decorated just as warmly as the rest of his home. The furniture was made of rich dark wood, the sheets and pillows were silk and cream colored while the duvet was dark chocolate. I put my bags along the far side of the room. I didn't want them to be in the way. I walked back out to the living room and made my way over to Spock.

"Do you require anything, Dawn?" he asked as he looked up at me.

"Well, yes. Would you help me arrange my class schedule for next semester?"

"Of course." he said as he put down a PADD.

After an hour of discussion and making sure that the classes I needed were still open, I had my second semester schedule complete.

Physical Education

Botany 102

Xenoanthropology 102

Vulcan 102

Physics 100

Music Appreciation

"Thanks Spock." I looked at the time, 1820 hours. "It's just about time for dinner. I'll go ahead and start getting things ready." I turned and started for the kitchen.

"Do not concern yourself. I would like to take you out this evening." Spock stated as he rose from his chair.

"Oh, ummm, alright. If you're sure."

"T'hy'la, I would not have said it if I was not 'sure'. What causes you to concern?"

"It's just that I'm still trying to figure out why you care for me so much." I had to be honest with him.

He gently placed his hands on my shoulders, "Dawnaka Rose Davis, nothing, apart from death, can ever cause me not to care about you. In time, I hope you will accept this."

I looked at him curiously. The only ones who ever loved me were my adopted family. "I'll try my best to understand, but right now, everything still seems odd."

It was Spock's turn to become confused. "Odd in what way?" he inquired.

"Spock, you are so different from any other man I've met. I just don't know what to expect." I tried my best to explain.

Spock's eyes softened a bit. "Dawn, I will protect you. I promise to care for you. I will remain faithful to you no matter the situation."

I nodded at the words I was hearing. I tried to believe them, but part of me thought this man was too good to be true. I told myself I had to give him time, give us time. Spock dropped his hands and said we would be leaving for dinner in 15 minutes.

We went to the local pizzeria and ordered a vegan pizza to share. Watching Spock eat pizza with a fork was interesting.

"Spock, hang on." I interrupted him before he took another bite. He looked up at me, "Is something wrong?"

"Spock, pizza is a finger food. It's meant to be eaten with your hands." I showed him as I picked up a slice.

"It is more logical to use a fork so as to not dirty ones fingers." He explained as he went back to using his fork.

I smiled, shook my head, and continued eating in silence.

Once back at his home, I started to become concerned about where we would sleep. He only had the one bed. I thought about this as I used his shower for the first time ever. Just doing that felt too intimate. After showering, slipping on my soft pink pajamas, and brushing my teeth, I walked out to the living room. I saw that a folded blanket and pillow had already been placed on the couch. I heard the shower turn on once more. "Well, I suppose that I'll get my bedding setup." I mumbled to myself.

As I finished Spock walked out, "You did not need to do this." He said as he looked at the couch.

"Oh? I thought you had put the blanket and pillow out for me."

There was the slightest upturn of his lips. "Dawn, you are my bondmate. You are not sleeping on the sofa."

"Spock, I can't take your bed." I insisted.

"You are not taking it. I'm insisting you use it." he explained.

I tried to hold back the slight embarrassment I felt rushing to my face. "Thank you." I said after clearing my throat. "Good night, Spock."

"Good night, Dawn." he responded and I turned back to his bedroom where I would spend the most awkward and sleepless night.

I awoke to the smell of strong coffee and my bladder screaming. I pushed off the covers and immediately covered back up. Brrrrrr! That air was cold! I snuggled back down in the warm blankets and attempted to ignore my need for the bathroom. Ugh! It was no use. I pushed back the comforter again and carefully placed my warm feet on a cool floor. After taking a moment to get used to the sensation, I stood and shuffled through Spock's bedroom door.

"Good morning."

I froze. That was not Spock's voice. I looked in the direction the voice came from. In the living room, I saw a blond haired, blue eyed man sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. Spock was in his chair which was facing away from me.

"Spock, why didn't you tell me you had a girl over last night?" he eyed me,"I mean, whoa, that's really out of character for you. Good for you." the blond man said and winked at me.

"James Kirk you will cease all attempts to flirt with my intended." Spock's stoicism remained unchanged, but there was a sharpness in his words and his eyes that were fixed in James' direction.

I gave sort of a half smile and disappeared into the bathroom as quickly as possible. I did not want to be in the middle of whatever was going on between them. After finishing my business, brushing my teeth, and throwing my hair up into a ponytail, I went back to Spock's bedroom as quickly and quietly as possible. I was about to unzip my luggage when I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Sos k'vath, t'hy'la?"

Spock's calm voice had me breathing a bit easier. "Ah Spock k'vath." I answered him as I stood and turned to face the door.

"Good morning." I greeted him as he came through the door and then closed it behind him.

"Good morning Dawn. I would ask that you dress quickly and meet Captain Kirk and myself in the living room. I have something I must discuss with you and him."

My eyes widened, "That's Captain Kirk? Spock, I know that you know the rumors about him and his long list of women."

"You are correct and unfortunately the majority of those rumors are true. Do not be concerned. I am here and he will not try anything."

"I trust you. Should I be in uniform?"

"There is no need for that." he assured me and left.

There may be no need for a uniform, but I didn't want to meet the Captain of the Enterprise in my pajamas, so I found a pair of dark wash jeans and a light blue sweater to put on. As I walked out of Spock's bedroom for the second time that morning, I was a little more awake.

"Captain Kirk, I would like for you to meet my t'hy'la, Cadet Davis." Spock introduced us.

"Call me Jim." he said as he reached out his hand but then swiftly changed the gesture to a ta'al as he saw what I was doing.

"Hello Sir. It is nice to meet you."

Jim was just about to speak when Spock cut him off, "T'hy'la breakfast is waiting for you on the kitchen counter."

"Thank you Spock" I replied as I walked into the kitchenette to retrieve my still hot cup of coffee and banana nut muffin. I came back through to the living room where I saw Spock sitting beside Captain Kirk on the couch. The chair was left vacant for me. I placed my mug on a coaster on the glass side table and began to nibble my muffin. After swallowing a few bites followed by some sips of black coffee, Spock began to tell me what exactly it was that was going on.

"The Enterprise and her crew has been called away on a survey mission." Spock explained, "I am unable to take you with us as our time away will interfere with the beginning of the second semester. However, I do not want you to be here on your own. I have sent word to a relative of mine who will take my place at the start of the semester and will help you continue your training. He will arrive tomorrow."

"Are you sure I can't come with you?" I was quite nervous at this news.

Captain Kirk spoke up, "I had contacted Spock about this early this morning. He informed me of his situation with you. I told him I would talk with Admiral Pike about it. Then I came over to give him the news personally. You can't come, I'm sorry." he said shaking his head, "That's just how it is."

"Well, Spock, Captain Kirk, thanks for letting me know." I said sadly as I finished the last of my muffin and coffee. "If you will excuse me please?" I got up to place my dishes in the sink and shuffled back to the bedroom.

I stared at the rumpled sheets and blankets on the bed and began to smooth them out. _He's leaving me with a complete stranger. He's leaving me. I know that's what happens at Starfleet. People are ordered away and sometimes they're gone from loved ones for years. Sometimes, they don't ever come back. I knew...I knew this could happen so why am I…_ Tears escaped the corners of my eyes. I heard the bedroom door click and I wiped my tears from my face and finished making the bed.

"Dawn. We must speak."

"Has Captain Kirk left?"

"He has. May I ask why you are upset?" I could hear him approach me from behind. I sat on the bed cross legged.

"Spock, I just realized something. I mean, I knew it could happen, but I just didn't think it would happen so soon." I explained.

"To what are you referring?"

"I'm going to miss you. You're going to be light years away from me. I'll have no clue if you're safe or not. It worries me."

"Your concerns are not unfounded. I also find myself preoccupied with thoughts of you. However, as it is my duty to the Enterprise and to Starfleet and to the Federation, I cannot simply ignore this order."

"I never asked you to. I would never ask you to do anything like that. I'm sorry if my emotions are too much for you right now. If I wasn't a half breed, I'd be better off." _Perhaps it would be better if I didn't exist. That way you could focus on your career and not have to concern yourself with me._ "I just need some time to come to terms with this. I'll be fine." I insisted.

Spock nodded and informed me that he needed to go to headquarters to be fully briefed on the mission. I nodded back and told him I was going to go to the gym. I needed to get my frustrations out and running, even on a treadmill, was the only way that would help me at the moment. He left the bedroom and I packed my gym bag with my Starfleet issued sweatpants, t-shirt, and extra underclothes. I pulled on my boots and grabbed my running shoes. Finally, I slipped on my coat and headed out the door.

There was hardly anyone in the gym. Everyone was spending their time with family. Something I wish I could be doing, but because of my stupid actions, my family time was cut short. I went to the locker room and changed clothes. _Why did I have to get all emotional in front of him? I've already put him through too much. He doesn't need any of this._ I came back out to the gym floor and found the long row of treadmills empty. I punched in my student ID number on the front panel so it could track my progress and set the difficulty level and pushed the start button.

I ran. I ran so long that my legs were screaming at me to stop, but I kept running. It wasn't until I noticed a second runner beside me that I looked up and realized it was Spock. I still kept running. After another 20 minutes Spock spoke. "T'hy'la, you have been running for two and half hours. It is time to stop."

Either I didn't hear him or I just ignored him. I wasn't sure which, but then I heard buttons being pushed and I could feel the machine begin to slow down. Spock had programmed a "cool down" phase into my treadmill. Apparently he programmed one for himself too so by the time I stopped he was also done. I felt wobbly as I stepped off.

"I'm going to the showers." I mumbled at him and walked to the locker room. He waited for me and we walked back to his home together. I was finally realizing how tired I was when we walked through the door that I didn't say anything. I went into the bedroom, closed the door behind me, dropped my gym bag and shoes in the corner, and flopped down on the bed and went to sleep.

I awoke to the smell of something savory. Curious, I sat up out of bed and peeked my head out the bedroom door.

"End meal is nearly ready. Have you acquired sufficient rest?" came a warm voice came from the direction of the kitchen.

"Yes, I'm sorry I've been in a mood today." I replied as I meandered my way to Spock. "I've had a lot to think over and I have a question for you."

"What is your question?" he asked me as he stirred something in a pot.

"Why did you think that I would ask you to ignore an order? I mean, I know what it means for couples who are in Starfleet. Not always will they see each other. They may not even be assigned to the same ships. I understand that, or at least I thought I did. Now that you're leaving me, I think I understand it a bit better why relationships are hard to keep in this profession."

Spock turned off the burner on the stove and turned towards me. In a very serious tone he asked, "Am I to understand that you believe I would abandon you or our bond?"

"Well, isn't that what'll happen? I'm a first year cadet. You are the Commander of the flag ship. You'll be gone and I'll be here or on New Vulcan." I gestured with my hands.

"Do you not yet understand that I will not, in fact I can not, ever leave you? YOU are my t'hy'la and no time or distance will change that. Even if I am gone, once we are officially bonded, you will always have a connection to me and I to you."

His eyes softened as he told me this although his stoic features remained unchanged.

"You're not really leaving me even though you'll be light years away?" I asked as I stepped closer.

"I could never leave you." he responded while reaching for my hands that were wrapped around my torso. "You are too important. Taluhk nash-veh k'dular."

My breathing quickened as he gently and slowly reached out and pulled me towards himself. My heart was racing in both fear and anticipation as his face came closer. So softly he whispered my name I thought I was going to melt. I closed my eyes and inhaled his spicy scent and I felt warmth on my lips and a buzz in our bond. _How long I've secretly wanted this, but should I want it? I've been through so much. I should want to protect myself above anything else._

I felt him pull away and I realized how much I hated that feeling.

"Dawn? Have I done something wrong?" Spock quietly questioned.

"No." I answered breathlessly.

"Why are you crying?" he asked as he brushed away the lone tear on my cheek.

"Ashalik, I've wanted to kiss you, but I was scared to want you. I have defended myself for so long…" I trailed off and my eyes found the floor.

"It is time that you let me protect you. Dawn." he told me as he lifted my chin with one finger. "You may kiss me whenever we are alone like this." He took hold of my hand and moulded my hand to display two fingers. "When we are together in public," he touched my fingers with two of his, "we may touch in this way." Our bond hummed brightly, I closed my eyes and sighed at the unexpected pleasure.

My fingers moved of their own accord in small circles down his fingers and across the back of his hand. I heard a low moan and felt his other hand gently touch mine.

"That, "he stated, "you may not do in public. It is an erotic gesture."

My eyes were the size of saucers and I blushed a very deep green. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean…"

"There is no reason to apologize. You did not know and you did what felt right. I certainly did not mind, however, had you continued, I do not believe you would have been prepared to take the next step in that aspect of our relationship." he explained.

I hid my face with my hands. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on like that. I should probably…" I turned to go back to the bedroom but my wrist was caught by a large hand.

"Do not turn away from me, please. The blush on your face is aesthetically pleasing ." his face betrayed nothing of the pleading his words were expressing.

I turned back to him. "Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive."

"Please, Spock?"

He exhaled through his nose and the corner of his mouth upturned in the smallest way. It was a smile meant for me. "All is forgiven. Come share the end meal with me."

I nodded and he lead me to the table where he served our meal. "Spock," I asked after we finished eating and washing the dishes, "Will you ever let me cook for you? I am a guest here and it is tradition after all."

"Yes, you can cook for us one day."

"I'll look forward to making you a mess of catheads." I smiled at him and stretched. "It's late and I'm tired."

"Good night, Dawn." Spock called after me and I paused.

At once I turned around and strode back to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face down to mine. Our kiss this time was not quite as cautious. "Good night, Spock. I love you." I let go of him and dashed to the bedroom. My sleep that night was filled with dreams of a certain tall, handsome, logical half Vulcan.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Roses and Thorns, Lots of Thorns

I woke early the next morning. I think that part of me was already nervous about meeting one of Spock's family members. I tried meditating while still under the warm covers and after a little while, I was able to find that inner peace. A little more relaxed, I pushed back the blankets and planted my feet on the floor. I gathered my clothes for the day and snuck to the bathroom and locked the door. After using the toilet and washing my hands, I turned on the shower and let the steam build like billowing clouds. I relaxed even more in the welcomed heat. After a thorough scrub, I exited the shower, dressed, brushed my teeth, and blow dried my hair. I pulled back my fiery locks into a low ponytail.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I noticed Spock was not in the living room or the kitchen. _Odd_ I thought, _I wonder where he is._ I went back to my borrowed bedroom and put my dirty clothes in my laundry bag. I would have to wash a load of laundry soon. I figured that was something that could be done over the weekend. I padded my way back to the kitchen where I found a note for me on the counter.

 _Dawn,_

 _I have gone to greet my family member. I will bring him back with me and as you have requested to cook, I would ask that you create a morning meal for the three of us. I will return at 0800._

 _Spock_

I checked the time, 0725 hours. I didn't have a lot of time to prepare. I checked on what food Spock had available and decided to prepare some gespar. I sliced the fruit and saved the rind for the soup. I'd found a recipe on the computer and it was fairly simple to follow. While it was cooking, I made a pot of tea and set the table. I only had about 15 minutes until Spock would be back with the man who would be standing in as my tutor while he was gone. I went back to the kitchen to check on the food. It was done, so I turned off the burner, stretched, and yawned.

I heard the door open and in walked Spock and an elderly vulcan man who, I assumed, was his family member.

"Do not worry, I will help her. She need not face this alone." I heard him promise Spock as I walked to the living room to greet them.

"Good morning, Dawn." Spock greeted me with two outstretched fingers. I met his gesture and responded in kind.

"Dawn, I would like to introduce you to Spock Prime." Spock sounded hesitant as he introduced us.

"Dawnaka, it is good to see you again." the older Spock stepped toward me. "I knew a different version of you in my own time. Please, do not be alarmed, but my younger counterpart has told me of your hardships and I wish to express my deepest sympathies and to extend my assistance to you whenever it is needed."

"Thank you, Spock Prime." I answered him, still confused about how different and how the same both Spocks were. Fiercely loyal and completely professional. However, with Spock Prime, he was more reserved. "Please, would you both come through to the dining room and we can share a morning meal?"

"Of course." they said in tandem. I smiled and turned to lead them to breakfast.

After eating we convened in the living room where my Spock (I had started to think of him this way to distinguish the two) told us that he would be leaving before lunch. I didn't realize he would be leaving so soon. I didn't feel like I was ready to part from him, but I didn't have another choice. Spock Prime had to place a call to the Vulcan Embassy and he excused himself. I believe it was to give us a little more time to ourselves.

I followed my Spock to the bedroom where he took a luggage bag out of his closet and began to pack some clothes.

"Spock, I'm worried." I reached out and touched his shoulder.

"We have already discussed this. The only thing I can suggest is you take time to meditate and come to a logical conclusion."

"I have been. My Orion side is winning out at the moment. All of these 'what if' questions keep coming to mind and I'm doing what I can to rationalize them, but I...I'm failing." I told him while fighting back tears.

Spock pulled me into his arms and whispered a promise, "As long as I am able. I will come back to you." He sealed his promise with a kiss and my worries began to dissipate.

After he finished packing, he and I walked to the drop off point. "I have a request, if I may ask it of you." I spoke quietly, unsure if I was allowed to ask him what had been going through my mind.

"You may ask."

"Would you write to me, if you're able? I think that this will help me worry less if I hear from you." I explained.

"If I am able, I will write to you."

"Thank you, Spock." I held out my fingers to him and he gently met my gesture.

"I must leave you now, t'hy'la. Rom-halan, Dawn."

"Rom-halan, Spock." I answered in parting. No tears would escape my eyes. I had to stay strong for him and for myself. I had to show him that I could do this.

He turned his back to me and strode to the shuttle that would be taking him to the Enterprise. Part of me hoped he would look back, but I knew that he wouldn't. I stared after him and prayed that he would be safe.

Back in Spock's apartment, I found Spock Prime in meditation. I quietly went to the bedroom to begin packing my things to go back to my dorm room. After my clothes were packed, I stepped out to retrieve my toiletries from the bathroom.

"Dawnaka, are you leaving?" I heard the old man's voice call to me.

"I was not told that I could stay here while you are here. Spock is gone and I thought it would be inappropriate for me to stay with you." I explained.

"Dawnaka, I am him and he is me. You are more than welcome to stay here. In fact you have more claim to this home than I."

"How is that possible? If you are him, then who am I to you?" I challenged.

"You are a kindred spirit. A person who is half Vulcan and is trying to control their emotions. You are a cadet who is in need of assistance." he answered with total calmness.

I put my things back in the bathroom and then sat down on the couch. "How will this work between us? I know who you are only because Spock can't lie to me. Other cadets won't understand. They will start to wonder why I'm spending so much time with you. Who will you be to me?"

"During the times I am teaching, I will be known as Starek. When we are here and I am teaching you, you may call me what you wish. I know that I am different to you, so I will address you as Cadet Davis in class and Dawnaka while we are here."

"Alright, but there is only one bed here. I'll take the couch. I'm only going to stay until the start of the semester."

"Dawnaka…"

I put my hand up to stop him, "You're the guest here. I insist you use the bed."

"Thank you."

The rest of the week was spent practicing new meditation techniques. One surprising thing I learned about Spock Prime, he prayed before our meals together.

The day before I was supposed to go back to my dorm, I got a message on my PADD from student housing telling me that I would have a new room mate at the start of the semester.

"Her name is LaKishia Stein. She is transferring here from the London campus." I explained to Spock Prime. "I've gotta leave here sooner than I thought. I have to get my room clean. I kind of took over my old roommate's side of our room after she got herself kicked out."

"Would you join me for end meal after you are finished?"

"I'd really like that. I'll be back when I'm done cleaning."

It was unusually warm for the beginning of January and I didn't need a coat, so I grabbed my Starfleet hoodie and put on my shoes and left. It was the middle of the day and a few people could be seen unpacking their vehicles and moving back into their dorms. I hoped that my new roommate wasn't there yet.

I was relieved to find my room the way I had left it. I began to remove my meditation candle and pillows from under the unused lofted bed. It took me all of two hours to get the room back to where another person could use it too. I had to figure out where I was going to create a meditation space. I reckon I would have to use my bed for now. I glanced at my clock and realized that I still had some time before I needed to head back for dinner with Spock Prime. I got out my mandolin and began to play. I was a bit rusty and I had to stop and tune, but I just played for myself and as long as I liked what I played, that's all that mattered.

After an hour and a half of music making, I check my messages and hoped I had something from Spock. I hadn't heard from him in a coon's age, at least it felt like it. It had only been a couple of days since he left. I shouldn't expect for him to write me so soon. I decided that I would wait until the semester started for me to write him if I didn't hear from him before that. I sighed, gathered my emotions, and neatly put them in a sealed box before I went to dinner.

Two days later, I moved back to my dorm room for good. I was sorting out all of my dirty laundry and was about to head to the laundry room when my door swung open. In walked a tall woman with light brown skin and gorgeous long box braids. She was carrying two luggage bags and messenger bag that was draped across her body.

"Hello." she greeted me, "I'm LaKishia Stein. Call me Kishia." She put down her suitcases and held her hand up for me to shake.

"Peace and long life, Kisha." I answered back with a ta'al. "I'm Dawnaka Davis."

"It's good to meet you. So, you're a Vulcan?"

"Yes, Vulcan and Orion. Do you need help carrying anything?"

Nope, I've just got one more thing to go get and then I'll be done bringing in my stuff. It looks like you were about to go do laundry. I don't want to keep you." she answered.

"Alright, I'll leave you to get settled then. If you need anything, the laundry room is down the hall to the left." I explained.

She nodded, said thanks, and turned around to get the rest of her stuff. I grabbed the book of Surak's Teachings that Spock lent me as well as my laundry bag and soap, and headed down the hall. It turned out that I only had one load of laundry to do, so it wouldn't take very long. I turned to where I had left off in section 26 and began to read about the etiquette of mind melds. Being a half breed, I didn't think that I was able to perform something like this. Just reading about how precise one must be in their own mental control lead me to believe that it was something that I was never going to be able to achieve. An hour later, my clothes were dry and I headed back to my room.

Opening the door, I saw Kishia on her bed with a book and earbuds. I could faintly hear the sounds of choral music coming from them. I smiled and hoped that this meant that she was more focused than my last roommate. I set my laundry bag on the couch and began to fold my clothes and put them away.

My stomach started to grumble as I put my laundry bag in my side of our shared closet. I decided to ask Kishia if she was hungry and invite her to dinner, so I stepped up onto her ladder and tapped her foot.

"Yeah, What's up?" she asked after taking one of her earbuds out.

"I'm going to dinner. Do you want to come?"

"Oh, no thanks. I ate before I came here." she paused a moment, "Ya know what? I'll come for a coffee."

"Alright." I said as I stepped off her ladder and began to bundle up. It had begun to snow.

At dinner, I found out that Kishia was studying to be a navigator. She had grown up in starships and happened to be on earth while her parents were called away to help Vulcan last year. She still had her grandparents, but she was still grieving.

"So, if you see me start to go quiet and not go out or anything, could you help pull me out of my head? I don't mean, mind meld or anything, just doing things like this. Going out for a cuppa, ya know?"

"Yeah, I can do that. I know what it's like to lose a loved one too. I still find myself missing her. I'm working on that though. I'm working on controlling my Orion side with the teaching of Surak. I'm starting to get the hang of it. Meditation really has helped a lot."

"Maybe you could teach me sometime?" She smiled at me and took a sip of her coffee.

"I would be happy to, but I just need to make sure that my Vulcan master thinks it's a good idea. I haven't been practicing long. I don't want to teach you something wrong."

"Alright, talk with him, her, whoever it is and let me know?"

"I will." I answered as I finished my food.

We walked back to our room talking about things we liked and didn't like and the hopes we had for the future.

 _To: Cmndr Spock: USS Enterprise_

 _From: Cadet Davis, Dawnaka: Starfleet Academy: San Francisco CA_

 _Spock,_

 _I am sure you must be busy and that is why you haven't had time to write. I wanted to tell you that I have a new roommate and, possibly, a new friend. Her name is LaKishia Stein and she just transferred from the London campus. She and I are kindred spirits in a way. "Kindred spirits" means we share something personal in common. She is dealing with grief. I had told her that studying Surak's teachings has helped me some through my own grief. She wants to know if I can teach her meditation. I said I would have to ask first. Do you think I'm ready for that?_

 _Spock Prime has been kind to me and had assigned me to read section 26. I read it, but Spock, I don't know if I'm capable of performing a mind meld. I'm a half breed who has barely begun to understand the ways of Vulcan. Logic tells me that if I don't attempt this, I will never know what I am capable of. It also tells me that because I am so new to this, I shouldn't attempt it at all._

 _I hope all is well and I look forward to seeing you again, t'hy'la._

 _Yours,_

 _Dawn_

Two months into the new semester:

"You still haven't heard anything from your boyfriend?" Kishia asked me as we got ready to go to breakfast before classes started for the day.

"No." I answered as I pulled my uniform top over my head. It was finally warming up outside so I didn't need a jacket. I loved warm weather just because I didn't need to wear a coat. "He said before he left that I needed to trust that he would always come back for me. I miss him, a lot actually. I put him through a lot, but his devotion never wavered." I explained as I put my hair up into a ponytail.

"And you're not going to tell me his name?" my roommate asked while she zipped up her boots.

"Not until he agrees to it. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's go grab some breakfast."

Kishia and I walked into the cafeteria and it was abuzz with cadets. She found the line for bacon and eggs while I went to get some oatmeal. We met back up and found an unoccupied table. I took my PADD out and pulled up my Botany 2 notes.

"Quiz me. I've got a test today." I said while I handed my PADD to my friend.

"Alright." she took it and laid it down and began to look over my notes a bit as it dinged and flashed blue. "You've got a message." Kishia said and handed it back to me.

I took the PADD back and logged into my messages.

 _From:Lieutenant Uhura: USS Enterprise_

 _To: Cadet Davis, Dawnaka: Starfleet Academy San Francisco CA_

 _Cadet Davis,_

 _Commander Spock has trusted me with your contact information and the condition of your relationship. I was once with him too. He, indeed, has been busy and I know that he has neglected to respond to you due to a situation that had threatened his life. I know that he wouldn't want me to give you any details, but I also know that no matter how much you ask, he won't give you the details either. So, I may be crossing a line, but you need to know the truth. During a mission last month, Spock fell into a volcano. Due to the high probability of breaking the Prime Directive, he refused rescue. We didn't listen to him. He was rescued and is fine. We will be back on Earth this month. He really does care about you. You are all he talks about when he's not on duty. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but you needed to know._

 _Lieutenant Uhura_

"Dawnaka?"

"Kishia, I need to go see Professor Starek now. I am too angry to even…" I could feel the rage building up. I was about to explode.

"Whoa. Okay." she said as she grabbed my plate and hers, "Hang on right here. I'm going to clean this up and then we'll go." She ran to put the used dishes on the conveyor belt to be washed and hurried back to me. "Let's go."

In less than two minutes, we made it to the Professor's office. Kishia knocked on the door.

"Professor, Dawnaka just received some news. I don't know what about, but she is pissed said she needed to talk to you. I just came to make sure she got here alright." Kishia turned to me, "I have class, so I have to go." she looked worried.

"It's fine. Go."

"You're sure?"

"Yes." I answered shortly.

She looked incredibly apologetic and then left us.

"What has my younger self done?" Spock Prime asked.

"Read this." I instructed as I pulled my PADD out of my bag and thrust it at him.

"This was a month ago! A MONTH!"

"I'm going to excuse you from classes today." Spock Prime told me as he tapped away on my PADD.

"I mean, when was he going to tell me?! Why didn't he think he could trust me with something like this?! You're him, do you have any kind of answer?" I more demanded than asked.

"Dawnaka, I cannot presume to know what my counterpart was contemplating at that exact moment. I can however, tell you that he was following protocol. I was never in this particular situation, but the Prime Directive states…"

"Oh I know what the Prime Directive states. He's the one who taught it to me. I know exactly where to find it in the handbook. He can shove that handbook where the sun don't shine!"

"Dawnaka…"

"Does he not trust me? We talked about trusting each other so much before he left. Why would he do this?" I could feel the doubt and sadness begin to envelope me.

"Dawnaka.."

"Does he even love me?"

Spock Prime took my hand in his and sent me waves of calmness. "Dawnaka, let me show you something." He said as he reached his hand toward my face.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Dawnaka, you need to know this." he quietly insisted.

"Just tell me."

"It wouldn't mean anything coming from me. You need to hear it, see it. Please?"

"Alright." I nodded and I felt his fingertips on my psi-points. There was a gentle pressure and then I saw Spock. My Spock.

" _She is my t'hy'la." he spoke while walking on campus toward his home._

" _She was mine as well. We met earlier than you and she did. She died while giving birth to our daughter."_

" _You know what these missions are like with the Captain. Care for her if I cannot." my Spock insisted. "Our bond is not yet complete. She has not yet permitted me to perform a meld. I find myself wanting our bond to be stronger and I have explained how a meld can improve this, but she refuses." a flash of sadness passed through his eyes._

" _In time, she will wish to strengthen your bond. Do not worry so much."_

" _To worry is illogical, however, I am concerned."_

" _Spock, do you realize who you are speaking with? You and I are one and the same. I'm just an older and wiser version."_

 _My Spock sighed. "You are correct. I am worried. I must meditate on this."_

" _The answer to your worry is simple. You love her." Spock Prime pointed out._

" _I do and I hope that she will come to believe me."_

I felt the memory begin to fade and I opened my eyes and turned my head as I heard the door to Spock's office close.

"You allowed him to meld with you?" it was My Spock who had walked in and had to witness the one thing he wanted from me being given to another.

I felt nothing but shame and guilt. The man who had been faithful to me after I put him through so much was standing before me and was heartbroken again because of me.

"I will speak with him." Spock Prime assured me.

"Spock, I am so sorry and I don't deserve you." I let one tear escape. I wiped it away and I left his office.

I stayed in my room the rest of the day. I refused to talk about what had happened to Kishia when she came back from class for the evening. I was horrified at myself.


	10. Chapter 10

Dear readers,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read Dawn. I know it has been a long time since I've written more. I have not forgotten about Dawn and Spock. I have so many more ideas for how their relationship develops, the challenges they will face, and the friends they will make along the way. For me and my husband, life has become increasingly busy. I am a teacher and graduation is next week. There is a lot to prepare. We are also in the process of moving houses and I'm pregnant! There is so much going on right now that I just don't have time to dedicate to Dawn and I feel bad about that, but hopefully once things calm down, I'll be able to return to this story. Thank you so much for your patience. You all are absolutely wonderful!


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